Now the dust has settled, something to ponder on a Sunday…

I have a very serious question to ask, one that’s been bothering me for some time:

Who does the dusting in Middle Earth?

OK, there may be more pressing hygiene issues like the evident lack of plumbing, although there was one thing I was happy to see:

Let me zoom in for you:

Well, at least there’s that…

But seriously, if no one did the cleaning Beorn would live in a pig sty…

OK, bad example seeing that animals actually do live there and I presume a healthy spraying of Febreze is in order.

I wonder if Beorn’s shape-shifting abilities extend to rubber gloves and a bottle of bleach.

Coincidence? Maybe not…

Don’t even get me started on Mirkwood and that Moose Throne.

I just struggle to imagine Legolas going around with a feather duster and giving the chambers a once over.

And when he does his chores, does he get distracted by the cool things he finds:

Look, here are those dwarves I forgot we locked up a few days ago, I wondered where those had got to…

What I think  more probable is that Thraduil flaps his snazzy cape around every so often and that the dusting sorted for a few days.

Once the cape is worn out he probably thinks: another one bites the dust…

Erebor? Dustabor more like!

How do they reach the cobwebs with those high ceiling halls?

Seriously, how do you go around giving the ol’ chamber filled with gold a light dusting?

I bet Smaug would be the best at keeping the place clean- he’s good at housekeeping… and goldkeeping…

I wouldn’t be surprised if I saw Thorin with a broom- I know he swept me off my feet…

stop looking at me like that, you knew that one way coming so don’t kick up dust…

Even Hobbiton is a cleaning mystery to me.

Bilbo’s hole in the ground seems up-kept, but who does the vacuuming?

Does he have a nice Took lady come in twice a week to tidy up (although I bet she doesn’t do windows…)?

This is one issue to ponder and I can only regret that Tolkien never brought it up.

Maybe now we shall never know…

The Hobbit: An Expected Voyage (into pirate territory)

This period is perfect for various reflections, and judging by 2013, which was a mixed bag for many of us, not all thoughts are positive.

It seems that The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey has just snagged the top price:

The Most Pirated Film of the Year Award!

Erm, congrats?

It seems that there were about 8.4 million illegal downloads in 2013.

See, I knew I should have resisted the urge and just waited patiently for the DVD, then there’d be 8 399 999 downloads…

Is this worrying? Sure.

But judging by my own pirate behaviour, many of those went on to pump a lot of their money into the Tolkien/Jackson machine.

Aye, come to think of it, that stream from AgzyM to Middle Earth (and Sir PJ’s Hobbit hole) is still flowing and will likely do so well into  2015 and beyond.

A good percentage of that 8.4 million are people who probably wouldn’t have spent money seeing the film anyway, these are the people who don’t mind poor quality and sound as long as there’s something happening on-screen.

It’s also not like the movie turned out to be a box-office bomb- a sunken chest with no booty.

We seem to compulsively compare Desolation of Smaug with AUJ, let’s see how it fairs up this this particular category  throughout 2014…

The Morning After, The Walk of Shame

This is the morning after The Hobbit live fan event and I’m experiencing a slight hangover.

First of all, I have to admit that I thoroughly enjoyed it.

I usually shy away from the frenzy, but this time I managed to embrace it and share it with others from our humble fandom.

I think I was a little too enthused as I feel a tad like I’ve been partying hard with a group of dwarves 😉

The internet connection was exemplary (although I did have backup, just in case) and the feed was perfect.

My only complaint isn’t that there wasn’t enough Richard (duh! is there ever?) but that it ended so abruptly.

As I said on Twitter, it felt like my invite was revoked just as the party was in full swing.

Turns out, just as our feed broke, the actors also exited, which is a crying shame as I wished our RA friends would get more juicy RA details.

The highlights were Richard answering the only question he was asked.

Here’s an impromptu pic I made before I forced myself to get some shut-eye:

I really like Evangeline Lily, who no doubt is aware that some Hobbit fans are giving her evils (No hatin! she said), Lee Pace strutting his elvish stuff and the juicy additional The Hobbit: DOS clips.

*puts Sherlock dear stalker hat on*I wanted to take this opportunity to try to deduce a little something about what Richard has been up to.

The long curls are still in tact, he also seems to be growing a beard.

The thing that struck me was how slender he looked.

Not quite Spooks Lucas North season 7, but I think it’s safe to say that Richard isn’t preparing to shoot an action movie.

The question is, does this slimmer frame mean he’s actually auditioning/preparing/shooting something or is it just the strain of shooting three films back to back, relocating to NY?

Does he perhaps miss English food and his mother’s cooking?

I wish he’d make it easier to deduce by, I don’t know, having a script sticking out from his (gorgeous) leather coat pocket or accidentally spilling the beans by using another character’s name instead of Thorin.

As always. Richard knows what’s going on, but he’s not telling!

We’ll get you next time though, Mr A!

Care to do some deducing of your own?

What to expect when you’re expecting (The Hobbit Fan Event on Monday)

The Nov 4th Fan Event for The Hobbit is upon us and at this point all we can do is speculate what treats are in store for us.

As I was going down my Twitter feed it was wonderful to see so many of my RA friends score tickets to see the cast in either NY or London.

Magzy asked me whether I was jealous and I truthfully answered that yes, but not in the obvious way.

It would be much worse if Richard was in London as it’d be extremely difficult but doable to try to make it work.

As RA is in NY, beside logistic issues (like a 10 hour flight), the US isn’t getting a tourist penny from me until they get rid of tourist visas (seeing that we ARE citizens of the EU).

Therefore, there wasn’t any way in hell to bend reality to fit with my fangirl desires.

I have to admit that reading fan encounters always delight me and I hope our fellow admirers show us with insider info.

 I’m always proud of the conduct of our fandom members on RA impact, despite probably being on the verge of exploding, they usually manage a calm cool exterior and represent us well.

It’s also easier for me to live vicariously through another fan, I can just imagine myself in this situation, I giggle (and sometime squirm) reading the details and I get a rush that is probably almost as intense as the lucky fan felt on meeting Richard… almost…

The event will take place at 11pm on Monday AT (meaning Agzy time), so could be worse.

I’ll be bundled up in bed with my laptop, refreshing the page every few seconds, trying not to think about having to get up the next day at 6am.

I’ll give watching everything go down in real time a go, although it felt odd during 2012 SD: Comic-Con and I quickly abandoned trying to keep up.

What can we expect?

Difficult to guess.

My bet is that because there are four host cities, we aren’t going to see that much of Richard, especially that he’ll be joined by a teenage girl Orlando Bloom and much of the attention will be focused on Legolas (the name comes from the Scottish ‘lass’ and Lego because he delivers his lines like he was made of plastic… OK, not really…).

The event poster claims there will be live Q&A and exclusive footage shown, but I’ll be the judge of how exclusive that footage feels 😉

The event is dubbed a FAN event, so I hope we’ll be able to satisfy our FAN appetites!

What would you like to see on Monday?

Are there any questions you’d like Richard to be asked?

Get Thorinized for Halloween

Although  I’m still holding on to summer for as long as I can, it seems others are already thinking about Halloween.

We don’t really celebrate it here because November 1st is All Saint’s Day which serves a whole different purpose, but the few times I did get to play  Halloween costume dress-up, it was a blast.

I think it’s safe to predict that the cast of The Hobbit, and Thorin especially, are going to be popular this year, although I hope producers will have ironed out the look a bit by then.

For now it’s a pass from me…

Just so we’re clear what look we are aiming for, let me give everyone a quick Thorin refresher pic.

Masculine, furry, bulky, metaly… yup, I think I have a feel for what we’re going for here…

But how’s he going to dance dressed like that?

There’s something to be said about this dwarven boyband look, but does he have the moves?

More importantly, does it come with its own wind machine for that tousled look?

You can also go biblical…

There just aren’t enough dwarves in the old testament if you ask me.

Talking of bygone times:

If you’ve ever wondered what Guy would look like dressed up as Thorin…

You’re welcome!

By the way, sheriff Vasey is going as Gollum.

Shop bought Thorin costumes are not for everybody (might I dare suggest they’re not for anybody…).

You may just be better off sewing your own stuff from patterns.

Nothing will get you into that butch dwarf mindset like slaving away at the sewing machine.

But if you know deep in your heart you can never make a convincing Thorin, just pass the fur coat buck to your household pet…

Click on images to be linked their source.

The Hobbit is Coming, and I need Your Help!!!

The Hobbit Fever, or I should rather call it Hot Dwarven Fever (thanks to Thorin and Kili) has taken over me, and I’ve been spending plenty of time trying to come up with fun and hopefully creative way to celebrate the opening of The Hobbit.

I’d like to publish a few posts that will give you some ideas on how to celebrate in an unusual or special way.

These will include a few designs you can use and a project or two described in detail.

As my DIY/ arts and crafts skills are very limited, I’m reaching out to my fabulous readers and fellow Richard Armitage Admirers for help.

I’m looking for friends who will write guest posts here at I WantToBeAPinUp describing the special activity they are undertaking.

I’m looking for people who bake to test or suggest Hobbit-inspired baked goods and are willing to write about the process.

I’m looking for people who are creating graphics for T-shirts, wallpapers, screen savers etc. who’d like to post them here, therefore making them available to other RA admirers to use free of charge.

I’m looking for people who are great at arts and crafts and/or DIY and are doing something special for The Hobbit release and would like to write about the experience here and inspire others.

If you’ve thought about posting something, but have never had the chance or could never be bothered, now’s a great opportunity 🙂

Please email me at iwanttobeapinup[at]wp.pl!

Let’s celebrate the release of The Hobbit in the best way possible!

In a way worthy of Thorin Oakenshield 🙂

Ps. If I don’t find wonderful people willing to cooperate on posts, I’ll have to do the arts and crafts and DIY stuff myself, and YOU’LL ALL BE SORRY when I post pictures of the end product…!!!

You have been warned 😉

Look what I found at my local newsagent’s…

From the moment The Hobbit edition of Empire magazine  was out, they’ve been causing a storm.

I decided that if they have the Thorin edition at my local newsagent’s I’ll have to believe it’s fate and buy it, despite my apprehension to spend money on the dwarves before I see the film.

I figured that the universe would want me to have it and maybe I should stick the magazine in my handbag when I travel to London, on the off-chance I might get a cast autograph or *hyperventilating* Mr Armitage himself.

I strut to my local Empik store, knowing full well that they only have one copy left.

I walked over to the film section and found Empire.

Gollum is on the 3D lenticular cover!

I bet that’s not what you expected me to say, but that’s how it was!

I really was hoping the beautiful image of Thorin in blue would catch my eye and make me smile.

The bottom line is that as much as I’m very lucky in some areas of my life, I wouldn’t see myself as someone who’d bump into Richard Armitage at the airport, or be fortunate enough to get an autograph.

He won’t be filming on a set close to my home.

I won’t be attending theatre events or premieres where I could rub elbows with celebs.

Before you start pitying me, let me assure you of one thing.

There a level of freedom in knowing full well that amazing things like that will never happen.

I probably won’t get a pic of Armitage with his arm around my shoulders, nor will I ever get a chance to ask him to sign a photo.

Knowing this simple truth allows me to enjoy the things that are attainable, like meeting fellow Armitage fans and getting a buzz from seeing The Hobbit together with them.

I may never meet Richard Armitage, but I’ll experience something just as exciting, meaning I’ll be sharing my admiration for my favorite actor with other fans in RL.

Richard Armitage seems to be aloof in my life of late.

 I haven’t seen any RA in Warsaw yet.

The official Polish poster and the new book edition both feature either Gandalf or Bilbo on the cover.

I want a huge billboard with moody Thorin glaring right at me when I drive on my way to work.

Am I asking too much?

You and Me Thorin! It’s a Date! And Kili can tag along too…

Just a quick post for now.

There are a few that I’ve started and saved as drafts as I’ve been struggling to string words together as of late.

I hope it’ll pass and my thoughts become a tad clearer.

I wanted to ask how many people have booked their Hobbit tickets

aka

 ticket to sit and drool at Richard Armitage and Aidan Turner for 3 hours in a dark room surrounded by strangers you will hopefully never see again in your life.

I know they are out and I’ve been researching tickets for the 13th of December in London, which I will hopefully be seeing with my lovely fellow Richard Armitage admirers 🙂

I noticed that they are showing the movies starting 8am and continue throughout the day.

This means that there probably won’t be a problem with finding a nice cinema seat to place your bottom on and drool your way through Middle Earth.

Having said that, I’d probably feel much better with the tickets booked.

To my lovely fellow travellers I will have the absolute pleasure of meeting and Armitaging with:

Will we be booking/reserving tickets now for the 13th?

I was checking out the cinemas and The Odeon in Leicester Square jumped out.

They have a viewing at 3pm, which would be perfect for me to fly in, get to my hotel room, and get Hobbiting.

Anyway, let me know 🙂

Going back to the tickets, here’s the question for today:

Then there’s the question that I’ll be returning to closer to the date.

What snacks does one take to watch Richard Armitage on the big screen in 3D?

I’m guessing that due to the high risk of choking, maybe nothing would be best, but as I LOVE British junk food, especially Cadbury’s chocolate and cocktail prawn crisps, that’s not going to be an option 😉

Exciting Hobbity times are ahead of us!

I can’t freakin’ wait and I’m doing my happy excited dance in my head as I type 😉

Thorin Likes It Hot and Steaming!

Jas has unearthed these bizarre Krüger /Hobbit products that can be purchased in Germany.

It was bound to happen that The Hobbit will inevitably go into The Spice Girls mode of the late 90s where ANYTHING  and EVERYTHING had their image on it.

I wonder if, due to image reasons, there will be less Hobbit products available in the US, whereas Europe and Asia will be snowed under by them.

I’m waiting for the fast food deal where kids can get a plastic Hobbit toy with their Happy Meal.

If they were giving away a Thorin, I’d feel compelled to try to get my hands on one.

I know Sir PJ has bills to pay and filming three Tolkien movies back to back doesn’t come cheap, so let’s see how far he pushes it.

I know he’ll be getting plenty of my money!

Another important  question is what’s next?

Product placement?

Will the dwarves run around with a can of Coke?

 I can’t even begin to tell you how much I loathe product placement in films and TV series.

It’s beyond tacky and always looks so artificial.

Back to the product that sparked this train of thought.

A Thorin Classico Cappucciono anyone?

Servetus translated the writing on the packaging as:

“Classically tasty and in the good Italian style — that’s how Thorin Oakenshield, the prince of the dwarves, who leads his followers in the struggle against the dragon, likes it. Assemble your companions around you and enjoy a delicious cup of classic cappuccino!”

So we know Thorin likes it hot, steaming and creamy 😉

Good for him!

I always knew there was something frothy about our darling Head Dwarf!

Here are a few other suggestions to bring in some more Hobbit dosh:

Introducing the Thorin Shoe Lifts!

Stop looking Tom Cruise in the eye and start looking down on him!

Perfect for all of those who are height challenged!

We know how Thorin likes it, but how about his pony?

Spoil your trusted companion with a My Little Pony Thorin Edition  Spa !

Thorin’s Pony, skinny and bony

Made out of plastic, like an elastic.

Travels so far, it needs a Spa

Thorin and his Pony, never get lonely…

Time to start saving your pennies Ladies!

Braid It Like a Hot Dwarf!

I really adore this movie poster for The Hobbit!

There are some wonderful beards and hairstyles that prove that Dwarves are quite stylish.

You just have to admire a male who takes pride in his physical appearance.

I felt Thorin could use a little style twist to make him stand out a little more.

Apart from bushy eyebrows, another fun idea for the première of the film that should be called The Dwarf would be a nice plaited do.

Here are some interesting ideas, so it’s time to start practicing, as they do seem complicated.

Let’s hope we’re not bald by the time December rolls round because of the braiding experiments.

Show Thorin some love!

A great Hobbit première idea if you’re seeing the film with other fans

Cross braids instead of swords…

How about a nod towards Richard’s new tornado film Black Sky…

When traveling with a Hobbit, weave your own picnic basket so you’re always stocked up on snacks.

Thorin’s pony needs a style upgrade too.

Channel your inner Elrond and go Elf-style.

My favorite 🙂

Then again, you may just want to directly imitate the dwarves styles.
I’d go for this look, with the triple mohawk decorated with braids:

Ladies, it’s time to Dwarf Braid it Like it’s HOT!

Images: Buzzfeed