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I’m scrambling to wish you a Happy Easter!

Hello Dear Readers,

I couldn’t resist a post featuring an Armitage bunny, so a very Happy Easter to those who celebrate and a Happy Spring in Bloom to those who don’t.

Easter Armitage 1

Here’s some Polish language humour:

Jajka means eggs and are also called jaja.

Jaja is also a slang expression for balls, and I don’t mean tennis or beach…

So usually when I wish you: Smacznego jaja! (a tasty egg), I may actually be wishing you something different entirely…

¬†I hope everyone has a Smaczenego jaja! this Easter, if you are so inclined ūüėČ

Anyway, I could give egg puns a try, but decided not to risk taking a crack at it so…

Have an Eggsellent Easter and I’ll speak to you soon (maybe even sooner then you think…).

Now the dust has settled, something to ponder on a Sunday…

I have a very serious question to ask, one that’s been bothering me for some time:

Who does the dusting in Middle Earth?

OK, there may be more pressing hygiene issues like the evident lack of plumbing, although there was one thing I was happy to see:

Warg Thorin

Let me zoom in for you:

clean up after your warg

Well, at least there’s that…

But seriously, if no one did the cleaning Beorn would live in a pig sty…

tumblr_mo8r9yLp4W1qd2l0fo1_500

OK, bad example seeing that animals actually do live there and I presume a healthy spraying of Febreze is in order.

I wonder if Beorn’s shape-shifting abilities extend to rubber gloves and a bottle of bleach.

Beorn

Coincidence? Maybe not…

Don’t even get me started on Mirkwood and that Moose Throne.

9a938ef8e842b14efc50c830e6556936

I just struggle to imagine Legolas going around with a feather duster and giving the chambers a once over.

And when he does his chores, does he get distracted by the cool things he finds:

Look, here are those dwarves I forgot we locked up a few days ago, I wondered where those had got to…

What I think  more probable is that Thraduil flaps his snazzy cape around every so often and that the dusting sorted for a few days.

Once the cape is worn out he probably thinks: another one bites the dust…

thranduil

Erebor? Dustabor more like!

How do they reach the cobwebs with those high ceiling halls?

Erebor3

Seriously, how do you go around giving the ol’ chamber filled with gold a light dusting?

I bet Smaug would be the best at keeping the place clean- he’s good at housekeeping… and goldkeeping…

I wouldn’t be surprised if I saw Thorin with a broom- I know he swept me off my feet…

stop looking at me like that, you knew that one way coming so don’t kick up dust…

apbv9u

Even Hobbiton is a cleaning mystery to me.

Bilbo’s hole in the ground seems up-kept, but who does the vacuuming?

bag_end_hi

Does he have a nice Took lady come in twice a week to tidy up (although I bet she doesn’t do windows…)?

This is one issue to ponder and I can only regret that Tolkien never brought it up.

Maybe now we shall never know…

RA Flash Fan Event: The Shelf-Life of a Fangirl Crush

RA flash event

Unfortunately I missed out on a great deal of the RA Flash Fan Event but wanted to contribute one last time before we wrap things up.

I’ve written two posts inspired by the phrase “I Saw Something Fine” which you can read here and here.

Many of us started the event by sharing how we ended up being swept by Armitage fever and it seems only fitting to end the event by posting about the shelf-life of a fangirl.

So what exactly IS the shelf-life of a celeb crush?

I’m sure the duration differs as celeb fascinations vary depending on the sufferer individual, but it always starts with seeing something fine!

In my case it’s been two and a half years and in that time I’ve had periods of… shall we say… rest, but then I always find myself being dragged in again (much like the mafia…).

Here’s a group of categories specifying the longevity of your fangirling:

Armitage banana fan

Are you a banana?

Your crush lasts anywhere from 7 to 28 days.

It comes in a  flash and is usually instigated by seeing an actor in a particularly amazing role and going bananas.

The feelings are intense but short-lived and before the next full moon you’re ready to split as the object of your admiration has lost its a-peel…

Armitage pear

Are you a pear?

Once you’re hooked the feelings last anywhere from 120 to 180 days (and just happens to correspond with my preferred relationship length…).

You start peeling the layers of your crush and try to reach the core.

You slowly make your way through all the info available on your crush and are becoming quite an ex-peart and pear up with other fans to share the ex-pearience.

Armitage pasta

Are you dried pasta?

You are good to go for up to 24 months if conditions allow for it.

The crush takes hold and you just feel like you’re going to lose your noodle sometimes, but you’re in the company of other admirers, so you can never feel cannelloni…

Then again, sometimes things get a bit heated, boil over and you can’t take the strain.

Even when you’ve had a rest, you end up reheating your fangirling passion.

Armitage bee

Are you Honey?

This is the sweetest product found in nature and, if treated right, will tickle your taste buds for years.

We know that beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder, but anyone who questions your loyalty needs to buzz off!

You know very well that the object of your affections is the bee’s knees and no one will tell you otherwise!

After years of participating in mass adoration, you still manage to retail your enthusiasm (and sometimes act like a bumbling fangirl), and you know the importance of beeing positive when swarming for new stuff and over-analyzing the stinger off your crush.

What’s your fangirling shelf-life brought on by seeing something fine?

Update:

I forgot I had done this very short clip a few years ago about Busy Bee Richard, so this is for all my Honey Friends ūüôā

I’ve been Naughty this year (but Richard made me do it!)

If Santa asks whether I’ve been naughty or nice this year I need to lie through my teeth if I’m to get anything this Christmas.

If I was one of Santa’s reindeer I’d be Rude-olph!

I hope the jolly man will understand, especially that we’re kin of sorts, he is after all North Polish!

My line of defence is that most naughty coal-worthy behaviour has been inspired by my fangirling of Richard and he is more than welcome to submit any form of punishment he sees fit!

(see what I mean? one mention of the man and it’s just pure filth…)

Anyway, let’s celebrate the season of Ho! Ho! Ho! by a round of Nasty Santa, Armitage style:

Richard Armitage 2

I have a rubbish chute, will that do?

Richard Armitage 3

Be warned, I’m a loud carol singer… never mind…

Richard armitage 5

Yeah?

So what are you gonna do about that???

Richard Armitage Xmas1

That last one makes me feel like I’m between a rock and a hard place…

And, if anyone had ANY doubt…

Richard Armitage 4

He means his nose after a glass of sherry I hope.

Last but not least, for my friend Serv bravely battling the snow:

Richard Armitage xmas

A Very Merry! Dear Armitage Friends ūüôā

Richard, you drive us crazy!

FanstRA4 Banner pink

Have you ever been curious about what it’s like to be a blogger, especially an Armitage one?

Let me tell you this- it’s so luxurious and exclusive we put the Dynasty Carrington’s to shame ūüėČ

Nope, not a whiff of desperation.

Oh, the lifestyle of the rich, famous and blogging…

Earlier today, at the eleventh hour:

Me: Oh bloody hell, I need a FanstRA4 post for tomorrow and I’ve got nothing. Any ideas?

Magzy: Eeerrrr I had an idea a while ago…

*I wait..and wait….nope, that’s the end of THAT discussion…the sound of the clock clicking is defening*

A few hours later…

Me: So, about that fab idea you had and I really need…

Magzy: Eeerrrr…. just do some a post “Richard as something…”. Ya know, like last year’s Richard characters as dogs

What about… eerrr…..Richard and cars…

*I snort, rolls my eyes, prepare to go to¬†war about how stupid the idea was… but hold up… hold on one damn minute…this could works….yeeeessss…. this could work..kinda….*

Richard Armitage, you drive me round the bend!

I mean seriously, you need to give us all a break from your smoking hotness!

You drive us all crazy, so¬†here’s a crash course on¬†what cars different RA characters drive.

The car stopped with a jerk, then the  jerk got out.

Our dear Grizzly Gizzy is a bit dangerous, therefore I can see him in a Hennessey Viper Venom 700NM.

I’m not saying Guy has self-esteem¬†issues, but he’d definitely be¬†driving an expensive stolen sports car.

Based on his behaviour many would rather see him in a Mazda LaPuta or Mitsubishi Pajero¬†(a little Spanish joke there…).

Anyway, everyone’s fuming over the high cost of gas, but not to worry as Guy¬†has the¬†poor villagers running on fumes¬†to keep that tank filled up.

Guy Viper

Our favorite bookworm Harry Kennedy definitely wormed his way into our hearts.

It just isn’t fair how¬†he fueled our fangirling¬†imagination and he wins hands down.

With his John le Carr√©¬†books and maths skills, he’s quite¬†a Smart one.

At first he¬†couldn’t figure out how to fasten¬†his seatbelt, but then it clicked.

Harry Smart

Many artists tend to be tanked most of the time, and Claude Monet would support his fellow painter and drive a Citro√ęn Picasso.

Richard’s wig hardly revved¬†our engines, but the part was an auto-matic hit with the fans.

It’s hard enough to maneuver the art world and stay in the race, but it’s easy to brush it aside when you travel in comfort.

Armitage Monet Picasso

Thorin Oakenshield, we’re all in this Armitage Admiration for the long haul.

Riding that pony¬†such a long way¬†must be¬†taking its toll and you must be running on fumes (I still don’t get why the eagles could just drop you off closer to your destination).

Anyway, I’d like to offer you a more comfortable, not to mention worthy of a king, ¬†alternative meaning this Mustang.

This is the only horse power you need to get to where you’re going!

Just remember not to speed in the frozen areas because the Middle Earth police will stop you cold.

Thorin mustang

Drivers in a rush who stop at traffic lights often see red, but no such worries for our dear fast and furious¬†John Porter as he’d roll alone along a desert road (apart from a few planes, tanks, terrorists, bombs¬†and such).

That’s why I think he’d definitely need a Renault Duster with its own swanky protective scarf and sunglasses.

Also, the car manual stipulates the driver must be shirtless while operating¬†this machine, dunno why, possible something to do with the gear shift…

John Porter Duster

ATTENTION : Loose Nut behind the Wheel!

HONK… If You Want To See My Finger!

CAUTION: I drive like you do !

HONK if you Admire Armitage!!!

Yup, it’s official! I can’t write a post that doesn’t at least mention Richard Armitage…

Be warned, this post is littered with RA pun pics I never got around to posting for Valentine’s Day.

They truly are not funny, a much too punny.

My only excuse? He made me do it!

:ucas North Spooks car rev my engine

Thank You to all you for your faboosh pics!

I could literally¬†create the perfect Armitage Admirer, a Frankentige, if you will ūüôā

I still need more of your face/body parts for my FanstRA4

Keep them coming!

Someone (I call¬†her Miss¬†DoubleS as in super smart for coming¬†up with it…)¬†sent the pics directly from PicMonkey, doing¬†so anonymously, so remember you have the option to ‘share’.

Harry viacr of dibley richard armitage books

I spent the last weekend at the cinema, trying to catch up on all those interesting Oscar films I’ve had to ignore during my exam season.

It was a mixed bag really, and none of the films really knocked my socks (or any other part of my clothing) off.

Time for an¬† incy¬†wincy¬†confession-¬†as I mentioned before, I absolutely love those few seconds right before the movie or play starts, when the lights¬†go off and you’re waiting for things to start.

Each time it happened I was more than a little disappointed I wasn’t seeing The Hobbit.

Thorin Air New Zealand The hobbit aeroplane

Yup, I think I’ve finally flipped.

Reading dwarf porn and such didn’t convince me, but this has.

But I’ve not completely gone over to the dark side as I still refuse to watch it dubbed.

No, I tell you! Never!

Lucas North spooks Richard Armitage coffee

Anyway, one of the movies we watched was the Kathryn Bigelow film Zero Dark Thirty.

I’m not going into details and I shan’t be reviewing it as I hardly think I’m objective¬†as a student of American Culture, and have a somewhat¬†warped insider/outsider perspective.

The reason I mention it though is because this happened:

The scene shows waterboarding.

I lean over to my BFF Max and whisper:

Me:¬†That looks hellish. Do you know Richard had to film waterboarding twice and it was a horrid experience for him cos as a child he fell into a pond while strapped in a stroller and the experience scarred him for life and he hates water now, but even for Captain America he had to sit in this weird submarine capsule and then they had water pouring into it… poor Richard…. *catching my breath*

Max: Usually grandmothers tell their grandchildren anecdotes about their own life.

You’re gonna be telling them stories about Richard Armitage’s life…

Touch√©,¬†my dear friend…

And I’ll provide plenty of pictures so my grandkids can see what a real man looked like back in the day…

Lucas North spooks Richard Armitage bum jeans

On top of that, all that sexy commando crap featured in the movie has got me yearning for Porter, so I may have to pull out my combat pants and sexy scarves and give dear John Six-pack a visit soon.

Yes, it’s been a little Armitage crazy around here of almost¬†no fault of my own, and that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

Armitage obsession is an involuntary condition, something you contract, much like the flu.

John Thornton North and south tea cup

Unlike the flu though, some milk and honey and garlic won’t make it all better (unless you think of a VERY creative way of using it… OK, nevermind…).

Then you also need the support of your loved ones to either help you quit altogether or make you as comfortable in your condition as possible.

My sister decided she needed some cheesy viewing and we are rewatching Robin Hood.

Salt, wound, leather, Gizzy…

Can you blame a girl for not being able to come up with a good non-RA post?

Monet Richard Armitage the impressionists

As I suffer my condition, I shall not suffer it in silence (I really can’t do anything in silence…).
So what almost everything reminds me of either Richard, a part he’s played, something I saw/read on tumblr¬†or a fanfic?

Who said that’s not an appropriate way to view the world, filtered through the beauty that is Armitage?

Don’t answer those questions, don’t ever answer them!

If this is wrong, looking at RA, how can a girl ever want to be right?

(again, rhetorical question, no need¬†to answer…).

And that’s what I’m going to be telling my grandbabies ūüôā

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