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Thorin is getting a bit frisky for Valentine’s Week

Thorin 8

I’m (unfortunately for you…) sticking with the theme of Valentine’s Week.

Here are some pick-up lines that you may want to use if you’re on the pull at a Hobbit convention (at your own risk).

It’s at moments like this, when I spend my free time making Tolkien mythology sound dirty that I question my choices in life…

thorin 1

Thorin 3

thorin 7

Thorin 4

Thorin 5And last but not least…

thorin 6I bet you could do MUCH better, so hit me with your most painful Thorin pick-up lines 😉

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Have Yourself a Merry Dwarving Weekend!

Thorin Armitage mask

I thoroughly enjoyed the European premiere of The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug in Berlin.

Now I’m ready for Richard to take off his red carpet/promotional mask and done the Thorin one.

Entertain me Oakenshield!

As you read this I’ll already be in London, roaming museums, galleries and restaurants,  waiting to catch the movie on Friday afternoon, courtesy of a wonderful RA friend (thanks Guylty!).

Wherever you are, whenever you get to catch the next Hobbiting Adventure, I hope you have a wonderful time!

Whether you’ll be fangirling in your 3D glasses accompanied by fellow Armitage enthusiasts, or going it alone in quiet contemplation, remember:

 Have a BLAST!

Savour each moment!

Salivate/jump up and down in your seat/swoon/reach out and try to touch the majestic dwarf if you want to!

Then let’s meet back and fangirl and ooof! the heck out of this sucker 😉

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Get Thorinized for Halloween

Although  I’m still holding on to summer for as long as I can, it seems others are already thinking about Halloween.

We don’t really celebrate it here because November 1st is All Saint’s Day which serves a whole different purpose, but the few times I did get to play  Halloween costume dress-up, it was a blast.

I think it’s safe to predict that the cast of The Hobbit, and Thorin especially, are going to be popular this year, although I hope producers will have ironed out the look a bit by then.

For now it’s a pass from me…

Just so we’re clear what look we are aiming for, let me give everyone a quick Thorin refresher pic.

Masculine, furry, bulky, metaly… yup, I think I have a feel for what we’re going for here…

But how’s he going to dance dressed like that?

There’s something to be said about this dwarven boyband look, but does he have the moves?

More importantly, does it come with its own wind machine for that tousled look?

You can also go biblical…

There just aren’t enough dwarves in the old testament if you ask me.

Talking of bygone times:

If you’ve ever wondered what Guy would look like dressed up as Thorin…

You’re welcome!

By the way, sheriff Vasey is going as Gollum.

Shop bought Thorin costumes are not for everybody (might I dare suggest they’re not for anybody…).

You may just be better off sewing your own stuff from patterns.

Nothing will get you into that butch dwarf mindset like slaving away at the sewing machine.

But if you know deep in your heart you can never make a convincing Thorin, just pass the fur coat buck to your household pet…

Click on images to be linked their source.

thorin pumpkin

Welcome to The Amazing Armi Gift Shop!

ArmiBannerNo3.Edit
*Guest blogger alert part 3*

So I’m not going to lie, I experienced some mild panic when deciding what to do for my final post of FanstRAvaganza4.
I didn’t worry too much at the beginning of the week; I figured that the Gods of Armi-inspiration would visit me in the night and I’d wake with a fab-tastic idea for post 3!
Well, that didn’t happen.
But I did have a Sir Guy dream, which is never a bad thing! ^^

Anyhoo.
I’d scribbled down an idea in the “maybe” column when I’d first started brainstorming for the Armi lovin’ event:
“Some kind of fantasy shop…Armitage stuff”

Now, I like “stuff” as much as the next girl. One can never have enough stuff.
But hang on one cotton-milling minute!
What if there was a magical place where you could buy all kinds of Armitage…stuff?!
From stationery to clothing to utterly random accessories?!
Everything with his insanely beautiful FACE on it!
I would be in there every day, stocking up on goodies and collecting points on my Armitage loyalty card.

Okay, so there are already a few awesome Armitage related items on the market.
From Guy of Gisbourne action figures to Thorin Oakenshield lego.
Not to mention the amazing Hot Dwarf King mug a muchly amazing Hot Elf King loving friend bought me for Christmas ^_^
(I talk about my Thorin mug a lot, because I love it a lot)

But this shop…
Oh lordy, THIS shop would stock all of the above AND MORE!

So, without further ado, I invite all of you to the unveiling of

ArmiShopSignEDIT
This shop is full of all kinds of Armitage delights!

Where would you like to go first?

Perhaps the make-up department?

SIR GUY  has just launched his new range of glorious GUYliners!

B.GUYLINER.2

Buy your GUYliner today!

You too can smoulder and smirk your heart out!
A.GUYLINER.1
And swoon over all the pretty promotional posters! 😉
*

Across from the make-up counter you’ll find all kinds of funky accessories…
All EXCLUSIVE to The Amazing Armi Gift Shop!

May I suggest some adorable
JOHN THORNTON NAIL TRANSFERS?!
C.MILTONNAILS.EDIT2
The handsome cotton mill owner is waiting to adorn your nails!!
*

Over in the kitchen department, you can get your mitts on
THIS SPLENDID TOASTER!
E.ThorinToasterEDIT
It really is fit for a (Hot Dwarf) King!!
It even toasts Thorin’s delicious FACE onto every slice!!
YEY!
*
Also available is this limited edition
LUCAS NORTH LUNCHBOX AND THERMOS!
D.LucasLunchbox1EDIT2

Take it to work!
Take it to the park!
Take it to bed!
YUM!
*

Perhaps you’re on the lookout for some charming footwear?
Look no further!
Harry is ready & waiting to keep your feet warm with these
SNUG SLIPPERS!!
F.HarryKSlippers.2
Look at his wee happy face!
How could you possibly resist?

*
Looking for something a bit more dangerous?
Why not trust Sgt. Porter and take home this nifty
SWISS “ARMI” KNIFE?!
G.ARMI.Knife.1
Use it responsibly though, peeps!
*
I hope you’ve enjoyed looking around!
Please visit again soon!
*
There is something for every jolly Armitage Admirer at the
AMAZING ARMI GIFT SHOP!
It’s just a shame it only exists…
…in my head! -_-
For now!
Teeheehee!!
😉
*
What marvellous items would you like to see Armi’s face (and *ahem* other body parts) on?

I’d quite like a pair of Armi scissors…where his glorious legs are the blades.
Mind you, I’d probably be prone to accidents with those in my hands! -_-

*
Well I’ve certainly enjoyed bloggin’ around this week.
Thank you so much for having me, Agzy!!
And thanks to everyone for welcoming me into the Armitage bloggin’ fold with your lovely, funny and amusing comments!
*HIGH-5s all round!*
*

Merry FanstRA4 everybody!
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Richard, you drive us crazy!

FanstRA4 Banner pink

Have you ever been curious about what it’s like to be a blogger, especially an Armitage one?

Let me tell you this- it’s so luxurious and exclusive we put the Dynasty Carrington’s to shame 😉

Nope, not a whiff of desperation.

Oh, the lifestyle of the rich, famous and blogging…

Earlier today, at the eleventh hour:

Me: Oh bloody hell, I need a FanstRA4 post for tomorrow and I’ve got nothing. Any ideas?

Magzy: Eeerrrr I had an idea a while ago…

*I wait..and wait….nope, that’s the end of THAT discussion…the sound of the clock clicking is defening*

A few hours later…

Me: So, about that fab idea you had and I really need…

Magzy: Eeerrrr…. just do some a post “Richard as something…”. Ya know, like last year’s Richard characters as dogs

What about… eerrr…..Richard and cars…

*I snort, rolls my eyes, prepare to go to war about how stupid the idea was… but hold up… hold on one damn minute…this could works….yeeeessss…. this could work..kinda….*

Richard Armitage, you drive me round the bend!

I mean seriously, you need to give us all a break from your smoking hotness!

You drive us all crazy, so here’s a crash course on what cars different RA characters drive.

The car stopped with a jerk, then the  jerk got out.

Our dear Grizzly Gizzy is a bit dangerous, therefore I can see him in a Hennessey Viper Venom 700NM.

I’m not saying Guy has self-esteem issues, but he’d definitely be driving an expensive stolen sports car.

Based on his behaviour many would rather see him in a Mazda LaPuta or Mitsubishi Pajero (a little Spanish joke there…).

Anyway, everyone’s fuming over the high cost of gas, but not to worry as Guy has the poor villagers running on fumes to keep that tank filled up.

Guy Viper

Our favorite bookworm Harry Kennedy definitely wormed his way into our hearts.

It just isn’t fair how he fueled our fangirling imagination and he wins hands down.

With his John le Carré books and maths skills, he’s quite a Smart one.

At first he couldn’t figure out how to fasten his seatbelt, but then it clicked.

Harry Smart

Many artists tend to be tanked most of the time, and Claude Monet would support his fellow painter and drive a Citroën Picasso.

Richard’s wig hardly revved our engines, but the part was an auto-matic hit with the fans.

It’s hard enough to maneuver the art world and stay in the race, but it’s easy to brush it aside when you travel in comfort.

Armitage Monet Picasso

Thorin Oakenshield, we’re all in this Armitage Admiration for the long haul.

Riding that pony such a long way must be taking its toll and you must be running on fumes (I still don’t get why the eagles could just drop you off closer to your destination).

Anyway, I’d like to offer you a more comfortable, not to mention worthy of a king,  alternative meaning this Mustang.

This is the only horse power you need to get to where you’re going!

Just remember not to speed in the frozen areas because the Middle Earth police will stop you cold.

Thorin mustang

Drivers in a rush who stop at traffic lights often see red, but no such worries for our dear fast and furious John Porter as he’d roll alone along a desert road (apart from a few planes, tanks, terrorists, bombs and such).

That’s why I think he’d definitely need a Renault Duster with its own swanky protective scarf and sunglasses.

Also, the car manual stipulates the driver must be shirtless while operating this machine, dunno why, possible something to do with the gear shift…

John Porter Duster

ATTENTION : Loose Nut behind the Wheel!

HONK… If You Want To See My Finger!

CAUTION: I drive like you do !

HONK if you Admire Armitage!!!

Marry, sleep with or take as your date to a school reunion…?

ThorinFanstRABanner1
*Guest blogger alert part 2*

Hello again, fellow Armi enthusiasts!

Some saucy silliness for you today! Teehee!

On day 2 I asked you who your fave Armitage character and “go-to” viewage is.
And I told you all about mine. With the aid of some pretty pictures 😉
On day 4 of FanstRAvaganza I’d like to know which of the tall beauty’s nice, not so nice and a lot nicer than some characters you would….
Marry.poster.2
🙂

Now, that charming chap from Leicester has played an array of characters.
From tall handsome strangers…
Hellooo, Harry Kennedy!
To brooding “bad boys”…
Sir Guy, throw me upon your steed & run away with me!
There’s been topless tough guys…
Oh, Sgt. Porter, I do like your…gun! >_>
And most magnificent spies….
Well, you know my feelings on THAT MI5 agent… *ahem*

Righteo!
Just to spice things up a bit, and make it more fun. (And because I’m a bit of a meanie! ;P).
I have chosen 9 of Armi’s characters and, picking their names out of a hat, (or in this case, my Thorin Oakenshield mug), I have split them into
3 random groups of, er, 3.
Consider each 3 in turn.
And tell me
(please)
If you absolutely definitely HAD to make a choice
(and let’s pretend you do!)
Who would you…

A). Marry

         B). Sleep with

                C). Take as your date to a
school reunion?

It’d be marvellous to know your reasons too!

First group of beauties:
Group1Poster

Second group of swoon-er-roonies:

Group2poster

Third group of hot potatoes:

Group3poster

*
I know it’s tricky (very tricky!)
But think it through. Mull it over. Make yourself a cuppa and ponder the pros  and cons of each option.
*
I had to think long and hard myself.
For group one
I finally decided I would….

MARRY: Lucas North

I couldn’t NOT marry my favourite spy. Plus I would get to wake up to THAT FACE every morning, stroke his glorious tattoos, and swoon over his legs all the live long day! (You know, when he’s not off spying & stuff!)

SLEEP WITH: Sgt. Porter

He’s just so tough and strong and steaming hot!!
I’d want him to pick me up and throw me on the bed! Yum!

TAKE AS MY DATE TO A SCHOOL REUNION: Thorin Oakenshield

How impressive would it be to bring a Hot Dwarf King from Middle-earth to your school reunion? Everyone would be in awe of him. Plus he’d have much prettier hair than all those bitchy girls you went to school with! Also, he could defend your honour with his sword fighting skills!!
*
My choices are of course subject to change. -_-
*
As for groups 2 & 3…
I’ll have to think on it some more and get back to you! ^^

*
Well, I hope you enjoyed my little game!
Can’t wait to hear what you’d “do” with all these Armi-licious characters!
*
P.S. If you have any thoughts on anything else you’d like to – *ahem* – “do” with these characters, or any others I’ve not mentioned, please feel free to share that too!

Perhaps you’d like Ricky Deeming to take you for a ride on his motorbike? 😉
Or maybe you’ve had thoughts about spending time with Monet and his….canvas?! 😉
Don’t be shy: share!

^_^

Merry FanstRA4 everybody!

Images borrowed from: RANet
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Happy Sherlock Day! Now give me some smutty M/M fanfics to make it all better…

The post title refers to it being 02/21/13 (as written in the US) today, meaning 221 13 (B) meaning the house number of Sherlock’s residence on Baker St.

Most people don’t know that I’m actually quite a potty mouth in RL, but I don’t really feel like going back and deleting.

Not today anyway…

keep-calm-and-read-smut-8

It never ceases to amaze me, at the same time freaking me the fuck out, how life, and the way you look at it, can change in a matter of minutes.

Things are definitely pants right now and I’m still figuring out how to cope with certain situations.

I know some of my fellow RA blogger find comfort in writing posts, either as a way of escaping RL crap, or as a means of actually understanding the whirlwind events in life.

I’m not sure I’m able to do that (or maybe not just right now…), not because I don’t believe that I would find comfort in my online friends or doubt the sincerity of their words and wishes.

It’s just that I have a very hands-on approach to any crises situation, not allowing myself a moment of weakness.

OK, I did totally lose my shit when I called my BFF to tell him what was going on, probably freaking him out as I doubt he’d ever witnessed me crying during our 12+ year friendship…

When you insist on being strong for everyone else, there comes a moment when you have to react, and passivity is my way out.

Tumblr is perfect for that, impersonal, somewhat smutty, not too challenging.

Escapism at it’s best.

It’s not so much the need to run away, at least for some time, but what I find most soothing, that has raised my internal eyebrows (whatever the fuck internal eyebrows are…).

You’d think I would retreat to RA, his characters, The Hobbit, Aidan Turner, or something down those lines.

I really can’t explain my sudden interest BBC’s Sherlock.

I think it was spurred on by a Hobbit/Sherlock crossover fanfic I had encountered, but not bothered to read.

I’d seen the series a while ago and absolutely adored the modern take on my beloved Doyle stories, not to mention how lovable I found Benedict Cumberbatch’s Sherlock and Martin Freeman’s Watson.

It’s not the series itself, however, that seems to capture my interest.

I’m so much more interested in Johnlock (a combination of John and Sherlock).

Now, I blame Durincest and Bagginshield for my sudden interest in: fanfiction in general,  M/M character pairing specifically, usually of explicit nature, but I’ll go for some angst every so often.

Damn you: Peter Jackson, Hot Dwarf Armitage and Hot Dwarf nephews, and especially talented smutty fanfic authors who know no boundaries!

What can I say?

There’s nothing like a character played by Martin Freeman finding himself utterly wrecked by another male character to brighten up an altogether grim day.

For the record, as much as I like Freeman as an actor with his wicked sense of humour, and he’s appeared in some of my favorite TV series (UK The Office) or films (The Hobbit), I’ve never really found him attractive as a man.

So how does he end up popping up in my favorite fanfics, usually in some compromising position (and I AM smiling and smirking as I type this…)?

Anyway, the first Johnlock fanfic I’d read, and one that I’m afraid has ultimately spoilt me for all others,  is A Cure For Boredom written by emmagrant01.

Just so we’re clear, this is definitely explicit and covers a range of topics of a sexual nature that some may find disturbing, but I found wonderfully distracting.

Just when the author deserved an online hug from me for perfectly capturing the characters of Sherlock and John while still managing to place them in the smuttiest (and sluttiest) of circumstances, it turned out she’d also written Alternate and Missing Scenes from “A Cure for Boredom”.

These extra chapters are mostly written from Sherlock’s perspective and it was just what I needed to find today.

Oh, it was like finding a banknote stuffed in the pocket of an old jacket when you thought you were skint.

“I was Wats-off, but then you turned me Wats-on.”

My delightfully weird escape, which I can’t explain, even if I tried.

BTW, the way I’m feeling now, I’d sacrifice Martin flying all the way to New Zealand to continue filming The Hobbit just to have him stay in London to film season 3 of Sherlock and provide a new fix.

That should tell you something about where I’m at at the moment.

I’d still love for Richard Armitage to make an appearance in the BBC series though, so maybe I’m not a hopeless cause…

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