The Devil’s in the Details: An analysis of Proctor’s physique (strictly for scientific purposes)

This post contains spoilers with regards to the plot/scenes of The Crucible, so if you are yet to see the play, I suggest you give it a miss.

It also a shameless fangirl approach to Armitage/Proctor, so if you’re sensitive to the issue of RA objectification, I’d give it a miss too 😉

Now that my adventure is well and truly over, I guess The Crucible genie is out of the bottle and there are so many thought I’d like to share.

There have been a few post requests here and there, so I would consider it rude not to fulfill my obligations as a raving fangirl, take one for the team and lay some issues to rest.

I’d like to try to give you a thorough head to tail toe analysis strictly for the sake of you understanding the character of Proctor better 😉

 Let me also tell you about one of my most favorite scenes and have it serve as a backdrop to some Armitage musing if that’s alright by you…

Proctor is by far the largest physical presence on stage, and I’m including the metal frame bed and large wooden table 😉

This is no doubt exaggerated by how tiny (TINY, I tell you!) all the actresses are and the ease with which he throws them around the stage like ragged dolls (I’ve never been one for liking it rough, but this play has brought to light a new fetish…).

The costumes and minimalistic set design, not to mention the choreography, create an air that can be described in no other terms than haunting, but I’m not letting myself get distracted by rambling on about how beautiful it all is, so let me proceed…

Richard’s hair is closely cropped, I’d venture a guess that it’s his natural hair colour although I noticed no silver threads, so either he’s lucky or has given his mane a helping hand.

For those interested in the thickness, it looked pretty darn run-your-fingers-through-it worthy, even when wet.

Beard is thick and luscious, eyes piercing and those lines running vertically down his forehead very pronounced.

Nose suits his face beautifully, even if there may be a tad less of it than a year or so ago (allegedly).

BTW, if you’re wondering what accent comes flying out of his mouth, I’d say it’s most reminiscent of John Standring.

Proctor wears a heavy coat, ever so slightly reminiscent of Lucas North’s peacock coat, that accentuates his huge physique.

The coat has clearly been mended on the back (a detail I greatly enjoyed) and the mean part of me had a passing thought: Sure, poor Goody Proctor was probably sat by the fire mending it as her not-so-goodie husband was rolling in the hay with Abigail 😉

Let me give you a moment to contemplate the image of John and Abi rolling in the hay… yup, Ok, let’s move on…

The scarf is a nice touch as I do enjoy a man who can accessorize and it’s all about the colour coordination, people!

Anyway, under the coat you can see a dark grey shirt, loose enough to allow a quick peek at the chest situation.

As I was quite fortunate to have Richard stand centimeters away from me as he delivered his lines on more than one occasion (and yes, I did get a fair amount of RA spittle on me, not complaining), I could take a closer look at the neck and chest situation.

Very hairy. Very very hairy.

Although I’m a fan of a nicely shaved chest, something tells me waxing wasn’t that big in Salem at the time and Richard certainly kept it authentic in that regard.

Also hairy- his arms, although I think any fangirl worth her salt knew that already, the hairs on his arms are quite light, so it’s only when they catch the light can you fully appreciate the manly jungle 😉

I also couldn’t help but notice something I’d focused on in RA pics before- how his middle finger is not much longer than his index or ring finger.

I think (although I can’t say for certain as I did have an intense play to focus on at the same time and there’s only so much I can register at any given time) that it’s more pronounced in one hand.

I’d get a good look at the thumb and especially the thumb joint as Richard would have his hand clenched in a fist, probably ready to punch those nasty faux witches!

Left the binoculars at home, so can’t say much about the nails, sorry…

We’ve done the north, let’s proceed south.

Pants baggy, baggy, bloody baggy, much to my disappointment.

It wasn’t really until Richard got physical on stage (and luckily there’s no shortage of those moments) that you can spy on a thunder thigh muscle, an outline of the Armi buttock.

If I could change one thing about the play, I’d ask the costume designer to rethink the shape of those trousers to a more viewer-friendly line 😉

Boots- oh, those boots, with the legs of the hip hop pants tucked in!

I’m not sure whether I found them so alluring because we’ve seem Richard sporting a similar pair in RL, but there’s just something about a big BIG man wearing sturdy weathered footwear.

He takes them off and throws them around a tad, much to the horror of the people sitting closest to the line of fire of said boots.

Bare feet- anyone who knows me will tell you I’m not a foot person.

If you’re big enough to use them for walking, that’s my cue to start ignoring them, so maybe I’m not the best judge.

Let’s just say as men’s feet go, these aren’t bad.

By the time Proctor takes his boot off, his sockless feet are a tad squashed and knackered, but I found nothing offensive there perhaps a small bunion developing on one foot and that’s high praise from me.

Now, onto one of my favorite Proctor/RA scenes (unfortunately no visuals):

It starts with John’s wife Goody (short for Good Wife) Proctor carrying a big water jug and filling a big bowl.

The scene is quite powerful as she pours the water slowly and you can hear it trickling and splashing.

She then proceeds to take a lamp and go upstairs.

Proctor returns home after working in the fields all day, put’s his gun and whip down, tastes his wife’s cooking, scowls and proceeds to add salt to it.

It’s actually quite funny as he later in the scene compliments her on how well the dish has been seasoned, cheeky beggar 😉

Not that it’s important, but the food is real and you can clearly smell it as it’s stirred in the pot and later served up on a plate.

I wondered whether it’s one of those microwave meals that they heat up right before and whether they serve up a different one every so often.

For Richard’s sake I hope they do (although the smell was the same on both nights) because he does end up taking at least 3 spoonfuls before the scene ends.

It smelt quite meaty, but then I guess it’d be weird to get a whiff of chicken tandoori considering the historic context.

As a joke they should serve sushi one night, a good ol’ california rolls that Proctor ends up having to add wasabi and soya sauce to 😉

Talking about smells, I’ve always wondered what RA might smell of.

I’d heard about fresh linen and soap, but needed to verify it for purely scientific purpose, you understand.

Throughout the play whenever the actors would move closer I’d get this lovely smell of cologne.

I was beyond excited that Richard seemed to have broken his usual perfume pattern, or non-perfume pattern as the case may be, as I like a man who smells yummy and I do come from a family of perfumers.

It wasn’t until the end of the night when I leaned in to give the lovely Ms H a goodbye hug did I realise it was actually her, sat 2 seats away, that smelled so beautifully.

Oh well, I’m just happy someone made the effort 😉

Anyway, let’s get back to business:

Proctor walks in, clearly knackered after a day in the fields and proceed to take off his heavy coat, boots and shirt.

He walks up to the bowl and kneels in front of it.

Now, if the water was heated prior to the scene, the chances are it had cooled down in the process, poor Richard, but then he only washes the top half of his body, so he should be thankful for that, the audience not so much.

Anyway, the scene was quite beautiful from the front and, better still, there was nothing else happening on stage at that time, so I didn’t feel at all guilty gawking at Richard (really, how long can you stare at a wooden table and chair…).

If I may digress, I’m not the only one who felt guilty following Richard throughout the play and would, on occasion, divert my attention  onto someone else, out of human decency if nothing else, especially seeing as the other actors were all worthy of attention.

Anyway, Proctor gives his neck, face and chest a good scrub, no soap, and then proceeds to give the ol’ armpits a wash, Lucas North style.

This moment is unbelievably intimate as your eyes follow his hands while trying to drink up the outline of his silhouette and curves.

As I had mentioned before, Richard is simply huge on stage and this is exemplified by the fact that he’s kneeling by and crouched over a large bowl.

The shoulders are incredibly strong, as is the chest (seriously, where has he been hiding it all these years!) and the dripping wet hair which doesn’t fully dry throughout the scene made me wish someone would switch the sprinklers on throughout the play.

After he’s done, he wipes himself down with a towel, not very thoroughly though, and proceeds to put on a light white shirt.

Now, I don’t need to describe what the end result of wet RA body+linen shirt is, let’s just say if this were a wet T-shirt competition, Richard would be my winner, hands down 😉

I had the pleasure (and believe me, pleasure it was!) to see this scene from the other side and I can’t lie, it made an even bigger impression on me.

You can see him crouched over the bowl, back so wide you could pitch a tent on it (although I’m not sure why you’d want to…), the action of kneeling accentuating his thighs and rump.

If seeing a beautiful man wash from the front was powerful, Yowza!, it was staggeringly intimate from the back.

I won’t ever publicly reveal my exact thought that stormed through my mind as I watched (probably with my gob wide open drawing flies), only that it occurred to me this is an angle that probably only lovers get to see of one another.

As I tried to find at least one picture available online that would illustrate this scene and found none, it hit me that they’d keep it close to their chest (pun intended) and use it to knock the female part of the audience out.

And that they did…

That’s all for today’s RA leering, hope you enjoyed it and I shall be back to write more about Richard’s interaction with the female cast which is truly worthy of a mention 😉

AgzyM does London or Ramblings of a textbook fat, white, middle-aged RA Fan

This is a mammoth of a post, but I didn’t want to chop it up, but it definitely wins the award for most words AgzyM has ever tried to squeeze in at one time.

I make no apologies for the rambling nature of this post and understand completely if you skim it and get to the good stuff (meaning RA pics).

For that purpose I have separated the post into parts so you can just omit the sections that are yawn-inducing to you.

I just wanted to save as many thoughts on my stay in London in one place, therefore it’s quite emotionally masturbatory in it’s nature 😉

I will also be focusing on the Armitage angle of the play which certainly DOES NOT mean that the other cast members were not phenomenal, especially the female leads.

If you follow me on Twitter (@AgzyM) you’ll have probably seen most of the pics before.

Obviously, any pictures from the play itself are not my own.

EDIT: The title of this post is a tongue-in-cheek nod to the reviewer who had described RA fans as fat, middle-aged white women.

Although I don’t necessarily feel I subscribe to that idea, nor do I agree that there is a common denominator for all RA fans other than admiring Richard Armitage, if that’s the way some people wish to describe me/us and being a proud Armitage admirer, so be it 🙂

I’ve been back from London for a couple of days now, nursing my feet back to health after walking thousands of miles, trying to sift through (and wrap my brain around) all the wonderful experiences I’ve been fortunate to accumulate.

   

As many of you may know in April I was lucky enough to receive tickets for 2 consecutive performances of The Crucible at The Old Vic for my Name’s Day (see, it’s good to be Polish sometimes…).

Well actually I was asked what I’d like to get this year, I said I really can’t afford to see Richard on stage, but I really can’t afford not to and my family rallied around me to make it happen.

Because I was arranging the tickets pretty early on, I had my pick of seating and I must admit I chose pretty bloody well…but more about that later.

I flew in to London on the 6th early morning so had the whole Sunday free from any Armitage onslaught, but I did decide to check out The Old Vic (as any good soldier preparing for battle would) and my commute to and from the venue.

I had scheduled to do my shopping that day (didn’t buy anything from my list), then made my obligatory visit to the National Portrait Gallery and slowly crossed the Thames and walked to Waterloo Station.

 

Dunno about you, but I wouldn’t mind all cities being adorned by RA images (so if you’re a politician make it happen if you want my vote…).

The mind boggles how many people have actually touched, fondles and licked these posters, just to be on the safe side I restrained myself and only snapped away at them 😉

I have to admit I did not encounter any Crucible posters around London, so seeing them proudly displayed around the theatre made my heart (and other parts of me…) swell.

We had stayed at a hotel just down the road from The Old Vic in December 2012 when we flew in to see The Hobbit: AUJ and every time we passed it I’d lose my fangirling shizz because it is the place of The 24-hour Play Richard had taken part in a few years prior (I’d also go all gooey when passing the Dorchester too, so I’m quite an embarrassment to be seen in public with ).

It was a mind trip to know I would actually be seeing the man himself in the flesh in the same place a year and a half later (see kids, dreams do come true!).

While I was checking out The Vic I also made a mental note of the stage door which looks harmless and innocent by daylight, but let me tell you the mood changes somewhat once Richard steps out of the door 😉

Also, don’t you feel a tad jealous of that parking meter that gets to check out Richard 6 times a week, usually the back of him?

Anyway, the following day I planned my museum/art gallery schedule so I could swing by the Vic to pick up my tickets earlier, so I first headed to Tate Modern for the Matisse Cut Out exhibition (which I highly recommend), then walked to The Cut.

I felt like a lucky bugger as I picked up my tickets, especially seeing that since the plan had been forged I was on the lookout for some catastrophe that would see everything go up in smoke- lost reservations, delayed/cancelled flights, understudy performing on the night etc.

I had become so superstitious in the days months leading up to my London trip I dared not do anything to mess up my juju.

When I got this baby in my grubby hands I didn’t want to let go… but then I did out of fear that my sweaty hands would smudge the ink 😉

As the nice lady was handing me my ticket, she told me that they were only just printing the Tuesday ones and they were on the letter “J” so I’d have to come back later to collect it.

Now, the ticket clearly asks you to make sure all the info is correct and everything is in order before you leave, which is easier said than done when you hold this precious in your grasp.

Long story short, turned out later that my Tuesday ticket had been printed out automatically and was attached to the other.

Oooppss, must pay closer attention in future…

Anyway, there I was thinking:

Willy Wonka, eat your heart out! I’ve got my golden tickets right here!

 I proceeded to going down my exhibitions list for the day (Human Factor at the Hayward Gallery, you can give it a miss, Victoria & Albert Museum, which has a very interesting history of fashion display and my absolute favorite- Banksy The Unauthorised Retrospective at Sotheby’s which I highly recommend).

I was to meet a fellow RA Admirer at the Pit Bar in the theatre before the play, so I took no chances of being late and headed that way around 6pm.

I ordered a glass of Merlot (hell, I was celebrating, right?!? although, in hindsight, a mixture of fangirl excitement, Richard Armitage and booze maybe wasn’t the smartest) and waited for Ms H, her daughter and a friend.

Unfortunately, as the crowds descended we missed each other and didn’t end up meeting until we were seated inside the theatre.

Let me just say that I truly regret not spending more time as Ms H is the type of person I could probably chat for 6 hours with without even making a dent in the topics we could cover.

I was extremely lucky to get an absolutely beautiful seat, first row, smack in the middle.

The play started at 7.30 sharp, with the fog machine switched on and lights dimmed.

The stage (which isn’t a stage at all, just a large opening in the middle between seats) consisted of nothing but wooden chairs.

As the actors entered from the aisle opposite me, I was straining my eyes to see the bearded beauty.

He was one of the last members of cast to enter, but there was no mistaking that silhouette in the fog, I have after all spent a few hours of my life (Ok, maybe a bit more than a few…) paying close attention to images of Richard, so I felt quite well versed 😉

I’m not going to offer a play review, I feel there are many who can do the job much better than I, but I can in turn offer some random thoughts.

The man is HUGE on stage!

It’s like he takes up most of the space and towers over everyone, exuding a force that you can’t help but be both drawn to and frightened of.

Everything from his costume (a heavy coat with patched holes, very sexy boots and unfortunately baggy pants, then he strips to pants and a loose shirt) to his voice (which wasn’t as deep as I thought it would be for the first part of the play, which was probably due to some throat issues he had apparently been experiencing) screams strength.

If ever there was a part suited for Armitage post Thorin, John Proctor is it.

What I found interesting was catching small glimpses of other RA characters in his performance.

The accent brought to mind John Standring, some scowls were very John Thornton and Thorin.

It was like tiny visits from old friends and I was joking that it’d make a great drinking game: a shot of vodka every time an RA character would pop up.

Let’s just say I’d leave the theatre well and truly sloshed 😉

BTW, I am in no way alluding that Proctor is anything but a well thought through independent Armitage character, it’s just when you’ve spent so much time watching various RA roles and certain mannerisms tend to creep up, a fan can’t help but notice.

Truth be told, because I was sitting in the first row with no barriers between me and the actors (seriously, I had to watch my feet so the cast wouldn’t step on them), it took a while for my brain to process that I’m actually not watching this on TV or on my laptop, that this was really happening then and there, mere meters from me.

The benefit of first row seats, especially the one I was parked in, is that you are less than a meter away from some of the most beautiful and powerful Proctor moments.

As much as I was swept away by the story, I couldn’t help but register certain…hmmm… shall we say physical traits of Mr A…

Chest- very hairy, more so than I had ever imagined.

Actually, the biggest surprise for me was just how huge he was in the chest and especially the shoulders.

Somehow, apart from buff Porter, I hadn’t imagined that would be the case (but you learn something new everyday).

Let’s just say I wasn’t the only one who thought those shoulders and back would be a perfect place to press your head to 😉

The stomach is flat as a board with an adorable roll of skin when he leans over (don’t judge me, he was kneeling two meters away, what else was I supposed to look at???).

I was also enchanted by how his middle finger are almost the same length as their neighbours, but that’s a quirk of mine 😉

Anyway, I was quite choked up by the time the actors were taking their bows and couldn’t help but leap up from my seat clapping as Richard stayed behind to take his final bows.

He has this adorable habit (as he repeated it the following night) of bowing one way, turning around and bowing the other and then he does this funny thing with his hands as he takes a bow towards the two sides.

Very thespian of you, Mr A (actually I typed it My A, but went back to correct it as, well, I should be so lucky…).

Ms H had already pointed the best exit that would lead me straight to the stage door and into the queue, so I dashed out of my seat to procure my place.

If you’re wondering, it’s the exit to the left closest to the stage 😉

Much has been said of the stage door experience in the past week or so, so let me share with you my thoughts.

Firstly, it’s orderly and well behaved which is a bloody blessing, but it’s also quite a stressful experience.

We waited about 15 minutes before Richard came out, flagged by two Old Vic security men.

Please keep in mind that the man had just spent almost 4 hours performing in a very challenging play and the queue went all the way down the street, so that no doubt impacts the interaction Richard has with the people waiting.

It’s extremely rushed and I think RA makes his way down the line in under 20 minutes, which tells you plenty about the tempo.

On top of that, on Monday there were at least 2 groups of autograph hunters (one were standing right behind me, that’s how I know who they were), so I would imagine that puts a damper on the experience.

 

The best advice I can offer anyone who’s planning on going is: BE PREPARED and TAKE A PIC FIRST.

I’ve heard of someone who pressed the off button on their camera instead of taking a pic, I took a rather disturbing selfie of Richard although I have no idea how to (believe me, that picture is a catastrophe!).

From what I’ve observed and, unfortunately, experienced, the moment Richard signs your poster/program he moves on to the next person.

It goes by so unbelievably fast that I before could even ask for a pic, he was gone.

Picture first, then an autograph!

Numerous people (me included) had to join the back of the queue again which makes me wonder that if the tempo wasn’t so severe the stage door would actually go much faster in the long run if he’d slow down a tad.

My one huge regret was that neither I nor anyone within earshot actually had the time to congratulate Richard or thank him for being…well, him!

In some regards I feel like we were there in line asking yet more of him after experiencing that brilliant performance without offering as much as a Thank You, but to say that the environment wasn’t conducive to any form of verbal exchange is a staggering understatement.

The chances are, had I started speaking not only would I have not got Richard’s attention anyway, but I wouldn’t have an autograph or pic either.

As to more Richard details, he doesn’t come off quite as huge as he does on stage, but definitely not gaunt.

He was wearing a checkered red and white shirt and a jacket which made him look rather smart.

The only crack in his clear focus to sign/take pictures/move on came when he encountered the autograph hunters behind me.

As I was waiting for Richard I actually thought they seemed a bit out of place- young men dressed very casually, but figured they may be Tolkien fans drawn to the play by the allure of Thorin.

It seems Richard is much more savvy than little ol’ naive me.

He took one look at them as they clutch the 8×10 glossy pics of Richard, gave them a sideways glance (which was quite sexy), gave them a smirk (also sexy…) and said: I’m not signing that! and moved on.

I think this image is the one that’s lodged in my memory the most from the stage door experience- firstly because I felt it was the only time Richard had broken from the “fan interaction” persona but also because it made me realise what issues he has to deal with now that his career has entered yet another stage.

Oh, and I’d be pissed off too if someone was trying to make a quick buck off me.

Actually, as a fan who had flown in to see the play against many odds and for whom meeting Richard was a dream come true, I was/am pissed off of people trying to take advantage!

May this be a lesson to all of those who are tempted to buy an RA autograph on ebay, they aren’t really obtained in the best manner and having Richard sign something right next to you is much more valuable.

Anyway, the tally from my Monday Crucible experience was meeting the adorable Ms H, seeing a bloody great play, one signed poster, one very bad Richard and I selfie.

I had arranged to meet Ms Sally_Boots on Tuesday afternoon, so I had enough time to pop into The National Gallery to pay a traditional visit to Holbein’s The Ambassadors and all the other brilliant art on display, while (traditionally) avoiding the Medieval Art rooms (what can I say, not my cup of tea…).

The plan for that afternoon was to meet close to The Old Vic, grab a bite to eat, maybe get lucky and see Richard on his way to the theatre (long story short, we failed on all accounts and ended up having a quick Sainsbury’s sandwich standing in the rain next to an RA Crucible poster, we’re classy that way…).

It was a pleasure to meet Sally_Boots, you may recognise her from Twitter and she had written a few posts on this blog for Fanstra4.

I knew she’d be lovely and she didn’t disappoint 🙂

As we were waiting, we spotted a familiar face scoping out The Old Vic.

We recognised the Anglophile lady with her family walking around and, I can’t lie, we were more than a little jealous, convinced she was probably there to interview Richard.

As I’m not what you would call shy, as we passed I asked her whether she was the Anglophile lady (yup, it was a rhetorical question).

Turns out Marlise was incredibly friendly and we stood there chatting away while I was discreetly checking out her hair (which is gorgeous by the way).

We had ourselves a good ol’ chinwag about Richard (who else?) and I can confirm that Marlise is one of us- a proud Armitage Admirer excited about seeing the play the following night.

After downing a bag of salt and vinegar crisps,bought the obligatory posters (trust me, you can’t choose just one out of the three available) it was time to go to Salem.

As we were taking our seats I was curious what it would be like to see the play from a different angle.

The picture of The Old Vic seating isn’t very accurate- there’s no stage per se and there’s an aisle running down the centre on the other side, which meant the actors would enter and exit right next to me.

My seat was a mirror reflection of the one from the night before and I was wondering whether the actors/play favoured any side in particular (nope, both sides are brilliant in their own way).

I actually have a confession to make.

As I was booking my tickets in April in somewhat of a fevered state (I’m a fangirl damn it, I cannot keep calm!), I knew I had booked a fab ticket for Monday but thought I had screwed up with Tuesday’s seat.

I was sure I had accidentally booked a balcony seat and had spent a good 2 months secretly tormenting myself that with my pick of seats I had chosen such a bad one.

Turns out all of the online plans I had checked out were from The Old Vic prior to the removal of the official stage, therefore creating “the circle” and the addition of seats from the back.

When I realised that all was well I felt so much relief, but it’s a lesson learned that I need to focus more even where Richard Armitage is concerned.

By the way, the Lilian Baylis Circle was so high up it gave me vertigo just looking at it, so bear that in mind when booking tickets.

Talking about seating, Sally_Boots was in for a shock as she could have sworn she purchase a first row seat to the side, but it turned out there were actually two or three rows in front of her.

A quick online research confirms that they did end up adding a few rows on both sides, no doubt figuring that they didn’t need the side space for the play, so they plonked a few more rows there.

Brilliant if you were lucky to buy tickets late and scored first row, not so brilliant if you bought first row months beforehand only to be shoved back.

As the fogs distended and the play started, this time around I was much more savvy as I knew what to expect, where RA would pop out from, when to tuck my feet in so they wouldn’t be trampled etc.

 

Anyway, I was so thrilled to see that play from a different angle.

If you have front seats you will at some point have your view blocked by an actor, so anything I may have missed the first time around, I more than made up for the second.

I was particularly intrigued by the now famous shirtless washing scene (don’t you dare judge me!).

On Monday I got a full frontal view from a few meters away, on Tuesday I got to see it from the back, and let me tell you, that is my favorite angle 😉

I felt the play had gone even smoother this time and Richard’s voice was much stronger which makes me think he’d been doing his best drinking tea with lemon and honey to sooth his throat from all the yelling (and much yelling there is, believe me, I’ve developed a new fetish for it!).

Having seen the play twice I marvel at the fitness level of the actors.

This is an incredibly demanding play, beautifully choreographed and I image they go home each night with fresh new bumps and bruises.

As I failed at obtaining a decent pic with Richard the night before, I vowed to do better this time around.

I was standing in line at the stage door with Ms Sally_Boots and we were joined by Ms Nina, a resident of London who sometimes comes to the stage door to meet other RA Admirers and always gives Richard an adorable card 🙂

Without going into too much detail, this was also the night of the now infamous “Richard is so rude but I’ll post a picture with him and me grinning like a maniac” lady.

Let me just say, she was not there for the play that night, nor is she an RA fan.

She was there with a specific aim (which she didn’t achieve) and I’m much annoyed to learn she’s the one who interrupted my pic with Richard and the reason it came out blurry.

A plague on both your houses madam, that wasn’t cool!

The stage door was just as hectic, but after experiencing non-RA fans with an agenda clearly other than to have the pleasure of meeting Richard, I’m a little less surprised at the rushed attitude he adopts.

Long story short, I didn’t get my perfect pic, but what I did get makes me exceedingly happy and grateful.

One pic came out fuzzy, but my grin says it all…

Here’s the other:

A huge thank you to both Sally_Boots and Nina for trying to make my dream of a good picture of Richard and I come true!

I very much appreciate it ladies 🙂

Tally of Tuesday: Meeting Sally_Boots and Nina, two wonderful Armitage Admirers, getting to see the play from a different perspective, a signed Crucible program, and, f*cking hell, actually seeing Richard Armitage in the flesh!

Not bad for a quick visit to London, right?

All in all, this trip was one of the best moments for me, hands down.

Given half the chance (or if/when I win the lottery) I’d do it all over again with relish.

I enjoyed meeting fellow Armitage Admirers who are even nicer in person, the play is quite possibly one of the best I’ve ever seen (don’t get me started, we’ll be here all night), I came so close to the object of my fangirling affections (and didn’t lose my rag, which is important).

I feel very fortunate (the agnostic in me doesn’t want to say “blessed”) to have accumulated so many fab experiences and, subsequently, memories that shall last me a lifetime.

My dad picked me up from the airport and as I tried to put into words all that I had experienced he said something that made me teary: Seeing how much you enjoyed yourself and how you took advantage of this opportunity, that trip to London was worth every penny!

Ahhhh…. thanks dad 🙂

I know that many would love to have the chance to go on this adventure and let me add insult to injury by saying that this is really worth begging, borrowing (NOT stealing though!) for.

I’m keeping my fingers crossed for everyone who’s still trying to figure out how the heck to get themselves to The Old Vic- stranger things can happen, or have happened if my adventure is anything to go by 😉

On doing some Crucibling* with Armitage in July! (*not a real word)

Wow! Is this a hot time to be an Armitage Admirer or what!

I must admit I’ve been keeping a lukewarm finger on the RA pulse as I focus my attention on RL stuff, but good friends have kept me in the loop and made sure I knew the basic comings and goings, for which I am grateful.

After a period of “what the hell’s up Armitage?” and me moaning constantly that I demand good news,  it seems Richard has got his funky booty into gear and is spoiling us rotten!

Talk about watching a kettle boil, if only I had known it’d start raining Armitage projects the moment I step away for a while, I would have taken my sabbatical sooner 😉

What a time to be an Armitage Admirer and what a wonderful surprise at the Old Vic!

I hardly dared to dream Richard would sign up for a play in London (would have bet all my money on New York… and lost…).

The fact that it’s at the Old Vic makes it extra special.

When I flew in to London in December 2012 to see The Hobbit: AUJ we stayed at a hotel just down the street from the theatre.

Each time we passed I’d have the sudden impulse to drop on all fours and search the ground for imprints left by Armitage footsteps walk around the entrance breathing in the air, knowing it was where Richard had taken part in The 24 Hours Play.

Here I am, over a year later with my very own Willy Wonka winning tickets 🙂

The fact that it’s a Arthur Miller play is just icing on the AgzyM cake.

I have a thing for both Miller and the McCarthy period, so I plan on researching the heck out of the material, especially seeing as I probably won’t be coherent enough to actually go beyond the “OMG, that’s Richard Armitage standing there!” mode during the performance.

Although the announcement that Armitage had signed up for the project couldn’t have come at a more inconvenient time (seriously, a heads-up, Richard!) and technically, I couldn’t afford to go, the fangirl inside of me was screaming that I could afford not to go!

So, after calculating, deliberating, concocting cunning plans that would make  Wile. E Coyote green with envy, and trying to explain to my nearest and dearest that missing out was not an option for this fangirl, here I am with tickets for the 7th and 8th of July.

BTW, if you’re going to the play on the same dates and would like to go for a celebratory drink or even just a Hello fellow Richardette! and a quick “our boy did good!” hug , please let me know, either in comments or via email at iwanttobeapinup [at ] wp.pl 🙂

I know of at least one RA fellow admirer *waves at H* who shall be there and I bet that anyone you ask seated in the first 2 rows will either be a fellow “well-wisher” or is accompanying someone who is!

I presume I’ll be boring the heck out of everyone here till July on the topic of The Crucible, but I’ve also been thinking much about fans who see their favorite actor in a theatre (a first for me) and the less than stellar behavior exhibited by die-hard fans during both Hiddleston and Cumberbatch’s performances which apparently ruined it for others.

Let’s leave all that for another day.

Today, I shall bask in the glory of Richard at the Old Vic 😉

PS. Hands up who needed to google what “crucible” meant… yup, me too!

See, we’re getting an education while admiring Richard!

Feeling Crafty: Armitage Army Steampunk Card

I was feeling crafty today.

OK, not enough to actually finish the projects I had abandoned, but I needed something quick, easy and fun.

A while back I had come across this post at Epbot which involved metal tape (aluminum foil tape to be precise), black acrylic paint and plenty of beating and bashing.

Steampunk-licious? Sign me up!

Every so often I send out a card to my fellow Armitage Admirer as way of thanks for something tasty I received from them, but I always struggle to come up with a funky design, or I’m out of cardboard to print it on and so on, so I needed a fun card that was quick to make and purdy 😉

The biggest challenge was to find that aluminum foil tape.

After checking out some hardware shops (I know, it was scary…) it turned out that it’s used for fireplace isolation stuff, so you should find it in that section.

I also bought “drywall seam tape” which is a fancy name for adhesive mesh thingy and some foam letter stickers so I could lovingly create the “Armitage Army” sign.

Once I stuck the letters on, I started adding the seam tape and then covered the whole area with the aluminum tape.

The process was OK, word of advice though:

I felt the letters I had used were a bit too small, therefore when I started to push the tape down to make them more visible the tape punctured in a few places.

Maybe had they been a bit bigger, it would have been easier to really get into all the nooks and crannies and they would have been clearer (“m” was particularly challenging…).

I also think you should avoid having tape seams on the letters.

 

Having said that, the black acrylic paint luckily covered any rips and I did make my card plenty grimy!

I should add that I wasn’t using any professional tools, I was free-styling with the rivet holes and such, so maybe if I had a clay tool, it would have been easier.

Anyway, now I’m thinking about what else I could do:

cards? notebook covers? an image to stick in a frame and hang on the wall?

Have a wonderful day 🙂

A post on Armitage nipples, but may need some tweaking…

Bull?

Get over here!

I’m about to grab you by the horns and there’s just no way of avoiding it!

This belongs at Richard Armitage Confessions, but I might as well post it here and hope for a sympathetic ear/eye.

Let me just get this off my chest:

Richard Armitage has perfecto nipples.

There! I’ve said it!

I’m not really a connoisseur of that body part by any stretch of the imagination (most of you know I’m a bum and thigh gal), but I know what is aesthetically pleasing and that pair certainly pleases me.

Could be the size, could be the lack of any odd hairs trying to overgrow and chock the said nipple, could be the shape or probable taste, whatever it is, as men’s nipples go, it’s hard not to give them two thumbs up and clearly other nipples suck!

If you’ve ever wondered why men actually have nipples, you can read more here.

I’ll stick to the answer: so all other males are once again inferior to Richard Armitage!

That’s a No No, Richard!

A quick question for you today:

What would Richard have to do to make you go off him?

I remember the uproar when info spread that Richard was/is a smoker, not to mention the cat/dog person storm of 2013.

I’m eliminating any illegal activities for obvious reasons and asking about your specific pet peeves.

Here are mine:

A hairy back

No, just no.

There’s absolutely no excuse to have enough fuzz back there to knit your own sweater!

A foot fetish

Every time I see a picture of Quentin Tarantino (although I admire him as a filmmaker), my initial impulse is hide my feet under my bum, point my finger at him and yell No! Quentin, you’re not getting your grubby hands on my toes…

Feet are meant to hold up cute shoes and to get me from point A to B. The end.

Nail biting

Nice long fingers can catapult your thoughts to images of pleasure, but nails gnawed down to the cuticles make me shudder (no delight involved!).

I want piano-worthy fingers, not a piano has fallen on my fingers…

Lucky or unlucky, depending on how you look at it, for you Mr A, you don’t seem to posses any of the features that I would consider a deal-breaker, so I’ll just go on my merry fangirling way 😉

What are your fangirl/admirer/well-wisher deal-breakers?

Thorin is spreading and I can’t make him stop (where are Orcs when you need them!!!)

I don’t know about you, but I always enjoy posts which feature pics of bloggers in their natural habitat and am often confused that they actually exist in RL in oppose to being conveniently placed right inside my laptop.

Today I will be posting tiny peeks into Chez AgzyM, dust bunnies, vinyl wallpapers and all 😉

There’s a room in my flat which has  a set of shelves on the left hand side as you enter.

Even before I move in, I started collecting fancy little shoe figurines and added the Andy Warhol Shoe book of illustration to the mix.

It was a cute feature, but it was time for a change…

You see, I’ve been fiddling about and in the meantime my Erebor has been slowly taken over!

 Thorin had been creeping into my flat (I have a sneaking suspicion he found my secret dwarf door and just used his key…and I don’t mean that in a dirty way…).

It started with London Thorin, a gift from my BFF while we were in London in 2012 to see The Hobbit AUJ.

Then this Christmas I added Anime Thorin to the collection (thanks not-so-secret- Santa!).

Then a beautiful Thorin stamp rounded things up (I’ll be changing the stamp background today, I think I can do a bit better and it certainly deserves it…).

OK, three is hardly a company of dwarves, so Lego Thorin was added to strengthen the group.

When you’ve already let decency go, it’s easy to go from four to five, so that’s how I ended up with Heroclix Thorin.

If we add my own Stockingface Thorin who remains blind, so he won’t be battling dragons any time soon…

….that makes SIX Thorins in one woman’s flat!

Slightly excessive, no?

I gathered my company of dwarves on my bookshelves, but the written word started to fight back, so I’ve succumbed and gave the shoes the boot…

One bookshelf is hardly excessive, but then, if I’m honest, that’s not the only place where RA pops up.

There’s an Action Figure Gizzy on the way (and I’m still not ready to talk about that particular impulse buy…).

Gizzy will come stomping his feet, clad in squeaking leather, wielding his sword, and will find the lodgings somewhat cramped…

There’s my Pop Art Richard Pic that’s standing right by my front door (and contrasts the authentic 20s telephone pretty nicely, right?):

Then there’s the kitchen.

I really liked the beautiful card from Guylty and thought it’s go well with my 60s Polish Ćmielów figurines that are right above my cooker:

I dare not think who else will set up camp in Chez AgzyM (although I’m certain it won’t be Weta Thorin, at least till I win the lottery…).

Other RA items are put away, for now, although last night I dreamed up a board where I could display all the beautiful cards I’ve received from my Armitage Admirer friends.

I’ll keep you posted…

Oh, and Sir PJ, as you vacation in luxurious exotic locations and I freeze my bollocks off, you’re very welcome 😉

Update:

I think Stamp Thorin looks much better… onto the shelf it goes!

Richard, a Fan by any other name…

I’ve come across a few notes here and there that said “Hello, I’m a new well-wisher!”.

Firstly, you are very welcome to our little group of friends 🙂

Secondly, I wanted to focus on the phrase “well-wisher” for a bit.

Richard has always mentioned his unease at having “fans” and in his last Christmas message (which I really wasn’t expecting and which brightened up a particularly grim day), he referred to his admirers as “well-wishers”.

Far be it for me to tell Richard what to feel (Oh, I would sooooo love that though…), but I’m just not feeling it.

Let’s take a look:

The Oxford Dictionary defines a well-wisher as:

“a person who desires happiness or success for another, or who expresses such a desire:

Hick received plenty of advice from well-wishers”

OK, not bad…

I certainly wish nothing but the best for Richard, root for him and contribute in my own measly way by buying cinema tickets, DVD and such, not to mention that shameful moment when I actually bought the Guy of Gisborne action figure that I’m way too ashamed to talk about just yet…

But what about passion, Richard?

Let’s take another word: fan

“a person who has a strong interest in or admiration for a particular sport, art form, or famous person:

 I’m a fan of this author”

That certainly fits me much better, although the origins come from “fanatic” and…well… I hope that’s not what I am just yet, but give it time!

Strong interest? Check!

Admiration? Double check with a cherry on top!

Of course showing interest and admiration is tied to hoping the object of our interest will thrive, after all, in part, their success is our joy.

Let’s crank it up a notch- how about fangirl:

“(informal) a female fan, especially one who is obsessive about comics, film, music, or science fiction:

your average fangirl, despite the implication of the name, is a grown-up”

Admirer:

“someone who has a particular regard for someone or something:

he was a great admirer of Henry James”

Good, not great, but allocatess with Armitage, so that’s a bonus and doesn’t have that strong stench of crazy…

Then there are the Richardettes, The Armitage Army and RArmy, but this refers to the whole group, a fandom, not an individual.

The point is, as has been proven by the already beyond boring discussion about the Cumberbitches, a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, and someone hooked on Richard Armitage, however they choose to identify themselves, will nevertheless show interest and support the man.

If you don’t mind, Richard, I’ll wish my colleagues well and I’ll stick to being your fan.

You can call me a crazy fan (no, seriously, preferably whisper it gently in my ear…) but if the Jimmy Choo fits then that’s who I am!

RA Flash Fan Event: The Shelf-Life of a Fangirl Crush

Unfortunately I missed out on a great deal of the RA Flash Fan Event but wanted to contribute one last time before we wrap things up.

I’ve written two posts inspired by the phrase “I Saw Something Fine” which you can read here and here.

Many of us started the event by sharing how we ended up being swept by Armitage fever and it seems only fitting to end the event by posting about the shelf-life of a fangirl.

So what exactly IS the shelf-life of a celeb crush?

I’m sure the duration differs as celeb fascinations vary depending on the sufferer individual, but it always starts with seeing something fine!

In my case it’s been two and a half years and in that time I’ve had periods of… shall we say… rest, but then I always find myself being dragged in again (much like the mafia…).

Here’s a group of categories specifying the longevity of your fangirling:

Are you a banana?

Your crush lasts anywhere from 7 to 28 days.

It comes in a  flash and is usually instigated by seeing an actor in a particularly amazing role and going bananas.

The feelings are intense but short-lived and before the next full moon you’re ready to split as the object of your admiration has lost its a-peel…

Are you a pear?

Once you’re hooked the feelings last anywhere from 120 to 180 days (and just happens to correspond with my preferred relationship length…).

You start peeling the layers of your crush and try to reach the core.

You slowly make your way through all the info available on your crush and are becoming quite an ex-peart and pear up with other fans to share the ex-pearience.

Are you dried pasta?

You are good to go for up to 24 months if conditions allow for it.

The crush takes hold and you just feel like you’re going to lose your noodle sometimes, but you’re in the company of other admirers, so you can never feel cannelloni…

Then again, sometimes things get a bit heated, boil over and you can’t take the strain.

Even when you’ve had a rest, you end up reheating your fangirling passion.

Are you Honey?

This is the sweetest product found in nature and, if treated right, will tickle your taste buds for years.

We know that beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder, but anyone who questions your loyalty needs to buzz off!

You know very well that the object of your affections is the bee’s knees and no one will tell you otherwise!

After years of participating in mass adoration, you still manage to retail your enthusiasm (and sometimes act like a bumbling fangirl), and you know the importance of beeing positive when swarming for new stuff and over-analyzing the stinger off your crush.

What’s your fangirling shelf-life brought on by seeing something fine?

Update:

I forgot I had done this very short clip a few years ago about Busy Bee Richard, so this is for all my Honey Friends 🙂

Pop the champagne, it’s my Blogiversary (for real this time…)

Today (well, technically it was Friday…) marks my 2nd Blogiversary and I intend to celebrate till my fingers turn pruney!

Who knew I’d last this long, 2 weeks would have been pushing it…

I always say that blogging is counted in either dog or Hollywood marriage years so in human terms I’ve been at it for about 14 years and it feel that way at times.

I stated out as an RA blog lurker in the summer of 2011, this blog which followed in January 2012,  was intended as a place where I’d gather materials I find on the net that could come in handy for my MA thesis in Fashion.

Fast-forward 2 years later and here I am blogging almost exclusively about Richard with an MA degree in Fandoms and Fanfiction…

This fangirling will take over your life if you’re not careful, but then I guess we wouldn’t want it any other way!

My blogiversary coincides with the annual round-up created my WP, so here’s I Want to be a Pin Up in 2013:

For the longest time I felt like the new Pin Up on the block, now it’s more like a goldfish in an Armitage pond 😉

Thank you so much for supporting my blog, I really appreciate it!

Some time spring it will hit the 500,000 clicks mark which it truly overwhelming and humbling.

Thank you for coming here for a giggle, for engaging and contributing with your comments.

I always say I seem to have the nicest, wittiest and possibly craziest readers and I couldn’t want it any other way.

I bet there are a few lurkers that fit that description well too and hopefully we get a chance to become familiar by my 3rd blogiversary.

I hope to meet up with a few other RA enthusiasts this December in London, fingers crossed.

It would be wonderful to watch Richard strolling the red carpet one last time to support the role of Thorin surrounded by my peeps.

I raise my glass to you Dear Friends, Na Zdrowie!