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Now the dust has settled, something to ponder on a Sunday…

I have a very serious question to ask, one that’s been bothering me for some time:

Who does the dusting in Middle Earth?

OK, there may be more pressing hygiene issues like the evident lack of plumbing, although there was one thing I was happy to see:

Warg Thorin

Let me zoom in for you:

clean up after your warg

Well, at least there’s that…

But seriously, if no one did the cleaning Beorn would live in a pig sty…

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OK, bad example seeing that animals actually do live there and I presume a healthy spraying of Febreze is in order.

I wonder if Beorn’s shape-shifting abilities extend to rubber gloves and a bottle of bleach.

Beorn

Coincidence? Maybe not…

Don’t even get me started on Mirkwood and that Moose Throne.

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I just struggle to imagine Legolas going around with a feather duster and giving the chambers a once over.

And when he does his chores, does he get distracted by the cool things he finds:

Look, here are those dwarves I forgot we locked up a few days ago, I wondered where those had got to…

What I think  more probable is that Thraduil flaps his snazzy cape around every so often and that the dusting sorted for a few days.

Once the cape is worn out he probably thinks: another one bites the dust…

thranduil

Erebor? Dustabor more like!

How do they reach the cobwebs with those high ceiling halls?

Erebor3

Seriously, how do you go around giving the ol’ chamber filled with gold a light dusting?

I bet Smaug would be the best at keeping the place clean- he’s good at housekeeping… and goldkeeping…

I wouldn’t be surprised if I saw Thorin with a broom- I know he swept me off my feet…

stop looking at me like that, you knew that one way coming so don’t kick up dust…

apbv9u

Even Hobbiton is a cleaning mystery to me.

Bilbo’s hole in the ground seems up-kept, but who does the vacuuming?

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Does he have a nice Took lady come in twice a week to tidy up (although I bet she doesn’t do windows…)?

This is one issue to ponder and I can only regret that Tolkien never brought it up.

Maybe now we shall never know…

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