RSS Feed

The Warrior and his Sword

Thorin’s got one

Uhtred’s got one

Even temperamental Guy’s got one.

And I endeavour to examine why all the hard boys seem to be so attached to it.

The truth is, the closer we get to the Hobbit premier, and to seeing 3D Thorin, the worse my ‘his sword is his p*nis’ jokes will be.

I’ve already noticed it’s happening, so I decided to get it out of my system, as much as possible, and hope  I grow tired of the topic…

Freud believed the mighty sword that appears in our dreams is a phallic symbol.

The sword shares many similarities to the male organ as well as masculinity and all its manifestations.

 It is long and straight and directly related to its wielder’s sense of power.

The word power is key, as it’s attached to reputation, wealth, and position in society.

Freud isn’t the only one who recognized male gender issues in sword symbolism.

Excalibur is meant to represent the male principles and its insertion into the stone – the stone being symbolic of the female principle.

Both dwarf and Saxon took great ride in their weapons, polishing them and giving them a rub down with a whetstone.

A female would count herself lucky if she got such tender love and care from her man.

It would seem women are expendable, a good sword is not.

It’s not all bad news.

A Sword as a phallic symbol has a female element.

There’s the sheath in which the sword is housed is considered the feminine principle.

Luckily nowadays, men don’t run around with weapons, therefore something else must have taken over the phallic symbol.

I dismiss guns, as in most (I hope) parts of the world, men don’t carry firearms.

There are still those who have a vast collection of light sabers, but now it’s more a symbol of being immature and a bit daft.

If you or your man has one, I didn’t mean you.

You’re super cool 😉

What do you think is the modern-day phallic symbol, the one that embodies masculinity?

What do men posses that gives them a testosterone rush when they feel a little…errr… flat?

I’m going with cars.

Does a car really need to be washed and polished every other week?

Thorin’s sword is called Orcist, Uhtred has Serpent-Breath.

My question is, did we ever learn the name of Guy’s sword?

Was there just one he was particularly attached to?

One he would grasp firmly, polish regularly?

He’d hold it and all the village wenches would whisper: My, what a big sword you have there!

Knowing his luck, Marian would have just stolen his beloved weapon and given it to Robin.

I’m also questioning Gizzy’s love for the noose.

If we treat that as a phallic symbol, what does that say about Gisborne as a man?

A shudder to think!


About Agzy The Ripper

Sew, Rip, Repeat... and love each moment of it! Join me as I embark on a myriad of sewing and crafting shenanigans.

30 responses »

  1. Men – phallic symbol – testosterone – Freud – I need an extra dose of caffeine!!! LOL

  2. The heck with caffeine … I need ice! *fans self* 😉
    “… grasp firmly, polish regularly …” — handful, indeed. *snicker*


    • I just really needed to get the filth out, hoping I won’t be boring my readers with innuendos come Hobbit time. Can’t make any promises though, I have a sense of humour of a 12-year-old 😉

  3. Very good question, I don’t recall Guy’s sword having a name.
    All I remember is that is was very, very long ☻

  4. Hahaha!…emmm…co ja to chciałam?…powiedzieć?….zapomniałam, zahipnotyzowana sokolim okiem(i lśniącym mieczem) Guya!….oj jak tak ta sarna,jak ta sarna!(znaczy sarna po zmroku w światłach samochodu)-ale bełkot!

  5. Dear old Freud saw a phallic symbol in everything… 🙂 Did he have a bit of an obsession, I wonder?

    • Yup, a bit penis mad, he was 🙂 Then again, I’m starting to feel a bit like that myself, so who am I to judge? LOL!

      • But you’re a WOMAN, so that’s OK!!! 🙂

        • Yup, I keep telling myself that. It’s like getting your hands on a Ken doll and stripping him down, just to see what’ there. The answer: Big fat disappointment!

          • This doesn’t seem a good idea in the first place!!! No!! Ken, doesn’t sound promising at all…. 😉

          • 😦 Biedna Barbie!:D

          • Nie taka biedna. Projektanci specjalnie dla niej szyją ubrania, ma tyle domów , samochodów, dodatków różnego rodzaju. I tak wąską talię i biodra, że nawet jelita by się tam nie zmieściły!

          • I’ve always found it very puzzling that while Barbie has boobs, Ken has no dangly bits! WHY????

          • I know! Poor Ken is stuck in the same molded plastic Y-fronts for decades. That can’t be healthy! Then again Barbie has no nipples, going against the mammal rule of nature 🙂 It’s all very confusing!

          • For some reason Barbie’s “nipplelessness” never bothered me as much as the “eunuchness” of Ken!

          • LOL! I had a Ken doll, made him do a side split, broke his legs off. He ended up having a towel like thingy around his waist made of duck tape for the end of his days, just to hold his legs in place. That’s a childhood trauma, I tell you! Lesson learned! Most men can’t do side splits without hurting themselves. I’ve carries that lesson throughout life LOL!

  6. BTW, I’m probably a bit…mmmmm.(cough).., but I really don’t understand this last pic with “No to abuse sword”. Could one of you clever ladies explain it to me, a starkly embarrassed ignorant woman, what’s this about and what those arrows… ??? Maybe clandestinely(!!) for I know, too much explaining ruins the joke! Ha, Ha!! This stick-figure doesn’ look like heavily testosterone-driven, phallic symbol??..Oh.. 🙂

    • I didn’t understand it either, Linda. I think it should actually read “no sword abuse”. That would make better sense.

      • Hahaha! When I was in China, therwere everywhere. They translate from Chinese to English, word for word, and the end result is a hoot. In our hotel in Beijing there was a sign in reception that said: “Oral massage”. I though bloody hell, what kind of a hotel is this? Turns out they meant you can leave a message at reception, and it will be passed on 🙂

        • Oral massage! Triple LOL! Google translator can produce some hilarious results too. Which is good for me because if Google translator were any good, I’d lose my job (I translate a lot of things from English to Hungarian for my bosses)!

  7. LOL! You girls are hilarious!!


Have Your Say!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: