A while back I upset quite a few people in my post by insisting that John Porter had met his maker, and therefore is yet another victim of The Hobbit.
I wanted to offer you this poem to help with your grief over the loss of our beloved soldier, written by Mary Elizabeth Frye.
What I couldn’t tell you then, and what I shouldn’t tell you now, is what really happened to John Porter.
I’m disclosing this top-secret info because I trust you, but if word got out, Porter would be in a lot of danger.
John is alive and kicking, last seen in the Middle East carrying out a secret mission.
He’s using a bushy beard as a cunning disguise, and changing his mode of transport to confuse the enemy.
Here’s what the satellite cameras picked up:
You’re welcome, just keep it to yourself!