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Stereotype Sunday: Waving the Polish Flag or Kocham Cię Rysiek!

Europe According to Germany

I missed Stereotype Sunday last week because of college, but I’m back with a moan roar this week.

I don’t want to be accused of dishing it out but not being able to take it, so today I’m tackling my mother land Poland.

It’s a difficult task for a number of reasons:

I don’t have the outsider perspective that allows me to pick out the most characteristic features of my country.

I’m not sure how characteristic we are in general.

Nevertheless, I googled the top stereotypes connected to Poland and this is what I came up with:

The top thing associated with my country is kiełbasa (btw, it’s pronounced kiew (like window)basa not kielbasa).

Vodka is also popular, as is Chopin ( who is NOT French, thanks very much), and we’re generally know for our love of football, although less said about our national team the better 😉

Many people still think we’re in the midst of communism, and that we’re also seen as religious zealots.

BTW, have you noticed that Polish RA fans refer to him as Rysiek?

It’s a short for Ryszard (pronounced ryshard).

Anyway, this is Rysiek stereotyping my country :

Football, kiełbasa, vodka…

Polad Richard Armitage

And here’s something from the Tatry Mountains, our góral, meaning mountain folk:

Richard Armitage Góral

As well as their arch enemies Krakowiaki:

Richard Armitage Krakowiak Chopin

And last but not least, the most recognisable Pole, Ryszard Wałęsa:

Richard Armitage Lech Wałęsa

All together now: Kocham Cię Rysiek!!!

Can I please now go back to stereotypes of other countries?

You’re in my Heart just like a Tattoo

I think I can be described as a pretty hardcore fangirl.

No, I don’t own celebrity toenails turned into earrings, I don’t even collect autographs, but I can see how spending hours ogling pictures of hot British men, or creating posts for my own amusement, as well as for a limited group of like-minded people, could read as a bit craycray to the outside world.

Richard Armitage tattoo 2

I do, however, like to think that there’s a certain method to my fangirling madness and I have long established certain boundaries that I can’t see myself crossing.

Oddly enough the same rules apply to my lovelife…

Cue the celebrity faces tattoos:

I have a tattoo.

I got a rather unimaginative tramp stamp that looks a bit like pea pods, done using the same methods as permanent make-up, which was supposed to come off in a year or two.

Twelve years later it’s going as strong as ever.

Then there’s that hole in my right nostril left over from my nose ring which, 14 years later, looks like a giant black head.

I use my own foolish decisions from a misguided youth to illustrate that some things are forever or at least are harder to get rid of than me at a sweet’s buffet.

The next time you start thinking that maybe a nice doodle of Richard Armitage tattooed close to your heart is a swell idea, I’d urge you to put the half-empty bottle of vodka down, take a deep breath and give yourself a nice big slap.

Go on, you probably won’t remember it the next day anyway, and you’ll save yourself the trouble of having to explain why you have “So, where do you want me to sleep then” etched across one buttock, and “Well, there you go” on the other.

amritage army general lucas

That Richard Armitage tattoo you so lovingly applied to your arse in your 20’s is going to end up looking like Stephen Fry a few decades later (for the record, I love Stephen Fry, I’m just illustrating a point).

Before I’m accused of being an ink hater let me stress that I hold good tattoo artists in high regard, and some tattoos really are works of art.

The human body can serve as a wonderful canvas to etch images that have meaning onto, and real tattoo lovers map out a plan to cover their bodies that I find fascinating.

No tattoo hating here!

This is an amazing example of a beautifully shaded image of Thorin:

Getting a tattoo of Richard’s face is one way to get women to want to see you naked 😉

I think there’s also a difference in getting a tat with a celebrity’s face as opposed to a fictional character.

OK, I’ve done my bit to raise awareness and now I’m of  to get some subdermal implants…

(click on images to go to the source)

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