I’m about to grab you by the horns and there’s just no way of avoiding it!
This belongs at Richard Armitage Confessions, but I might as well post it here and hope for a sympathetic ear/eye.
Let me just get this off my chest:
Richard Armitage has perfecto nipples.
There! I’ve said it!
I’m not really a connoisseur of that body part by any stretch of the imagination (most of you know I’m a bum and thigh gal), but I know what is aesthetically pleasing and that pair certainly pleases me.
Could be the size, could be the lack of any odd hairs trying to overgrow and chock the said nipple, could be the shape or probable taste, whatever it is, as men’s nipples go, it’s hard not to give them two thumbs up and clearly other nipples suck!
If you’ve ever wondered why men actually have nipples, you can read more here.
I’ll stick to the answer: so all other males are once again inferior to Richard Armitage!
So I’m not going to lie, I experienced some mild panic when deciding what to do for my final post of FanstRAvaganza4.
I didn’t worry too much at the beginning of the week; I figured that the Gods of Armi-inspiration would visit me in the night and I’d wake with a fab-tastic idea for post 3!
Well, that didn’t happen.
But I did have a Sir Guy dream, which is never a bad thing! ^^
Anyhoo.
I’d scribbled down an idea in the “maybe” column when I’d first started brainstorming for the Armi lovin’ event: “Some kind of fantasy shop…Armitage stuff”
Now, I like “stuff” as much as the next girl. One can never have enough stuff.
But hang on one cotton-milling minute!
What if there was a magical place where you could buy all kinds of Armitage…stuff?!
From stationery to clothing to utterly random accessories?! Everything with his insanely beautiful FACE on it!
I would be in there every day, stocking up on goodies and collecting points on my Armitage loyalty card.
Okay, so there are already a few awesome Armitage related items on the market.
From Guy of Gisbourne action figures to Thorin Oakenshield lego.
Not to mention the amazing Hot Dwarf King mug a muchly amazing Hot Elf King loving friend bought me for Christmas ^_^
(I talk about my Thorin mug a lot, because I love it a lot)
But this shop…
Oh lordy, THIS shop would stock all of the above AND MORE!
So, without further ado, I invite all of you to the unveiling of
This shop is full of all kinds of Armitage delights!
Where would you like to go first?
Perhaps the make-up department?
SIR GUY has just launched his new range of glorious GUYliners!
Buy your GUYliner today!
You too can smoulder and smirk your heart out! And swoon over all the pretty promotional posters! 😉
*
Across from the make-up counter you’ll find all kinds of funky accessories…
All EXCLUSIVE to The Amazing Armi Gift Shop!
May I suggest some adorable JOHN THORNTON NAIL TRANSFERS?!
The handsome cotton mill owner is waiting to adorn your nails!!
*
Over in the kitchen department, you can get your mitts on THIS SPLENDID TOASTER!
It really is fit for a (Hot Dwarf) King!!
It even toasts Thorin’s delicious FACE onto every slice!! YEY!
*
Also available is this limited edition LUCAS NORTH LUNCHBOX AND THERMOS!
Take it to work!
Take it to the park!
Take it to bed! YUM!
*
Perhaps you’re on the lookout for some charming footwear?
Look no further!
Harry is ready & waiting to keep your feet warm with these SNUG SLIPPERS!!
Look at his wee happy face!
How could you possibly resist?
*
Looking for something a bit more dangerous?
Why not trust Sgt. Porter and take home this nifty SWISS “ARMI” KNIFE?! Use it responsibly though, peeps!
*
I hope you’ve enjoyed looking around!
Please visit again soon!
*
There is something for every jolly Armitage Admirer at the AMAZING ARMI GIFT SHOP! It’s just a shame it only exists…
…in my head! -_-
For now!
Teeheehee!!
😉
* What marvellous items would you like to see Armi’s face (and *ahem* other body parts) on?
I’d quite like a pair of Armi scissors…where his glorious legs are the blades.
Mind you, I’d probably be prone to accidents with those in my hands! -_-
*
Well I’ve certainly enjoyed bloggin’ around this week.
Thank you so much for having me, Agzy!!
And thanks to everyonefor welcoming me into the Armitage bloggin’ fold with your lovely, funny and amusing comments! *HIGH-5s all round!*
*
Have you ever been curious about what it’s like to be a blogger, especially an Armitage one?
Let me tell you this- it’s so luxurious and exclusive we put the Dynasty Carrington’s to shame 😉
Nope, not a whiff of desperation.
Oh, the lifestyle of the rich, famous and blogging…
Earlier today, at the eleventh hour:
Me: Oh bloody hell, I need a FanstRA4 post for tomorrow and I’ve got nothing. Any ideas?
Magzy: Eeerrrr I had an idea a while ago…
*I wait..and wait….nope, that’s the end of THAT discussion…the sound of the clock clicking is defening*
A few hours later…
Me: So, about that fab idea you had and I really need…
Magzy: Eeerrrr…. just do some a post “Richard as something…”. Ya know, like last year’s Richard characters as dogs…
What about… eerrr…..Richard and cars…
*I snort, rolls my eyes, prepare to go to war about how stupid the idea was… but hold up… hold on one damn minute…this could works….yeeeessss…. this could work..kinda….*
Richard Armitage, you drive me round the bend!
I mean seriously, you need to give us all a break from your smoking hotness!
You drive us all crazy, so here’s a crash course on what cars different RA characters drive.
The car stopped with a jerk, then the jerk got out.
Our dear Grizzly Gizzy is a bit dangerous, therefore I can see him in a Hennessey Viper Venom 700NM.
I’m not saying Guy has self-esteem issues, but he’d definitely be driving an expensive stolen sports car.
Based on his behaviour many would rather see him in a Mazda LaPuta or Mitsubishi Pajero (a little Spanish joke there…).
Anyway, everyone’s fuming over the high cost of gas, but not to worry as Guy has the poor villagers running on fumes to keep that tank filled up.
Our favorite bookworm Harry Kennedy definitely wormed his way into our hearts.
It just isn’t fair how he fueled our fangirling imagination and he wins hands down.
With his John le Carré books and maths skills, he’s quite a Smart one.
At first he couldn’t figure out how to fasten his seatbelt, but then it clicked.
Many artists tend to be tanked most of the time, and Claude Monet would support his fellow painter and drive a Citroën Picasso.
Richard’s wig hardly revved our engines, but the part was an auto-matic hit with the fans.
It’s hard enough to maneuver the art world and stay in the race, but it’s easy to brush it aside when you travel in comfort.
Thorin Oakenshield, we’re all in this Armitage Admiration for the long haul.
Riding that pony such a long way must be taking its toll and you must be running on fumes (I still don’t get why the eagles could just drop you off closer to your destination).
Anyway, I’d like to offer you a more comfortable, not to mention worthy of a king, alternative meaning this Mustang.
This is the only horse power you need to get to where you’re going!
Just remember not to speed in the frozen areas because the Middle Earth police will stop you cold.
Drivers in a rush who stop at traffic lights often see red, but no such worries for our dear fast and furious John Porter as he’d roll alone along a desert road (apart from a few planes, tanks, terrorists, bombs and such).
That’s why I think he’d definitely need a Renault Duster with its own swanky protective scarf and sunglasses.
Also, the car manual stipulates the driver must be shirtless while operating this machine, dunno why, possible something to do with the gear shift…
Welcome to one of the best weeks of the year to be an Armitage Admirer (and let’s be honest, it’s not too shabby on any ol’ day…).
This year is extra special over here at IWantToBeAPinUp as there’ll be a post each and every day during FanstRA4 and to help me out I am so happy to announce that I shall be sharing this space with a special guest blogger LittleSallyBoots, who you may recognize from the Armitage community over at Twitter (@Sally_Boots).
Ms Boots will be posting on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.
This is how she describes herself:
So I’m a borrower/dwarf-sized English lass who likes to doodle and drink lots of tea (it is the answer to life’s problems). I have lots of obsessions *ahem* passions and aspirations, including, one fine day, to stroke Richard Armitage (I am aiming high – quite literally for me!). I am muchly excited and a wee bit nervous to be blogging as a first time blogger on Agzy’s wonderful blog this week ^^ Happy FanstRA4 everybody!
How adorable is she?!?
Please make sure you give her plenty of wonderful energy and support as she’s popping her blogging cherry this week and she’s doing it in style.
She’s whipping her blogging hair back and forth!
She’ll be spinning posts right round baby, right round!
Without your positive vibes, she can’t get no bloggin’ satisfaction!
Anyway, you get the idea…
Armitage Army, I’ve often wondered who the hell you are!
I mean, seriously, who do YOU think you are?
Armitage Army, RArmy, Armitage Admirers- a rose by any other name would smell as sweet!
You are my most favorite aspect of Richarding, and one that keeps me coming back, keeps me interested, keeps me connected.
I’m a big fat fangirling cheater, but I’m loyal to my RA peeps!
No offence to Richard and his breathtaking attributes, but the quality of fans (admirers, stalkers, craycray’s, whatever name works for you…) is one of his absolute best features.
If the fandom was represented by an Armitage body part, I swear it would be Lucas North’s bum in tight wet denim jeans!
Or Porter’s abs… or maybe that royal hooter stuck conveniently right in the middle of his face…or those runner’s thighs…
Oh, nevermind…
Knowing more about the absolute best part of Richard (as far as I can tell and eliminating the cardigans he’s been wearing and I’ve been drooling over) has always been on my mind since I met you, and I’ve decided to compile a bunch of polls to basically satisfy my, and perhaps your, curiosity.
Just so we’re clear, I think the RA fandom is better than the RA cardigans… just not by much…
Anyway, the thing is, the poll results will be hidden until the last day of FanstRA4 when I shall reveal them in my final post on Sunday, because I’m evil like that and believe in delayed gratification (yours that is. Mine? Not so much…)..
I had grand plans for this project, seeing it as a fandom equivalent of Alfred Kinsey’s report on sex, but reality has taken me down a peg or two, so let’s water it right down like a jug of Sangria on a hot July evening, and be happy with the little things in life, like a jug of watered down Sangria *hiccup* on a hot July evening.
The questions (with multi-choice answers, even when more than one makes no sense at all) are very run-of-the-mill, so bear your soul and help this nosey parker 🙂
So, without further ado, I’ll take geography for 200, Richard (works only in a reality where RA is the host of Jeopardy!).
Ok, that was easy (enough), so let’s move on to the ‘nails on the chalkboard’ one.
Reminds me, I need to unscrew the lightbulbs in my house and start hosting guests by candlelight…
How about your Armitage experience?
How many hot British cucumber sandwiches are you buttering (and cutting the crusts off) in that naughty brain of yours?
Richard had me at Hello!… well, at punching Hot Pipe Stevens while managing not to damage his pocket watch (a talent I greatly admire in a man…), but what about you?
I bet Richard is a marathon man (you can understand it whichever way you like, I certainly won’t be explaining myself…), but what about your admiration?
It’s not only who you admire, it’s where you do it, and I don’t mean in the shower or on the bus coming home from work, so mind. out. of. gutter please!
It’s also important how you do it.
After all, there’s the right way, the wrong way, and the Armitage way (or Norway, which also works…).
No, but REALLY, how do you do it?
Are there any other questions regarding the RArmy that you’d like answered?
Is there some kind of fandom question tickling the back of your brain or any other part of you?
If so, please leave your ideas in comments and I’ll do my best to include your ideas into the post 🙂
Ps2. This post was, in part, inspired by a wonderful BBC series Who Do You Think You Are? which I really enjoy watching and can only regret Richard never took part in as I’d love to peek at the ancestors who produced such a fine specimen.
My favorite episode? Probably the Alan Cumming one.
Someone (I call her Miss DoubleS as in super smart for coming up with it…) sent the pics directly from PicMonkey, doing so anonymously, so remember you have the option to ‘share’.
I spent the last weekend at the cinema, trying to catch up on all those interesting Oscar films I’ve had to ignore during my exam season.
It was a mixed bag really, and none of the films really knocked my socks (or any other part of my clothing) off.
Time for an incy wincy confession- as I mentioned before, I absolutely love those few seconds right before the movie or play starts, when the lights go off and you’re waiting for things to start.
Each time it happened I was more than a little disappointed I wasn’t seeing The Hobbit.
Yup, I think I’ve finally flipped.
Reading dwarf porn and such didn’t convince me, but this has.
But I’ve not completely gone over to the dark side as I still refuse to watch it dubbed.
No, I tell you! Never!
Anyway, one of the movies we watched was the Kathryn Bigelow film Zero Dark Thirty.
I’m not going into details and I shan’t be reviewing it as I hardly think I’m objective as a student of American Culture, and have a somewhat warped insider/outsider perspective.
The reason I mention it though is because this happened:
The scene shows waterboarding.
I lean over to my BFF Max and whisper:
Me: That looks hellish. Do you know Richard had to film waterboarding twice and it was a horrid experience for him cos as a child he fell into a pond while strapped in a stroller and the experience scarred him for life and he hates water now, but even for Captain America he had to sit in this weird submarine capsule and then they had water pouring into it… poor Richard…. *catching my breath*
Max:Usually grandmothers tell their grandchildren anecdotes about their own life.
You’re gonna be telling them stories about Richard Armitage’s life…
Touché, my dear friend…
And I’ll provide plenty of pictures so my grandkids can see what a real man looked like back in the day…
On top of that, all that sexy commando crap featured in the movie has got me yearning for Porter, so I may have to pull out my combat pants and sexy scarves and give dear John Six-pack a visit soon.
Yes, it’s been a little Armitage crazy around here of almost no fault of my own, and that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!
Armitage obsession is an involuntary condition, something you contract, much like the flu.
Unlike the flu though, some milk and honey and garlic won’t make it all better (unless you think of a VERY creative way of using it… OK, nevermind…).
Then you also need the support of your loved ones to either help you quit altogether or make you as comfortable in your condition as possible.
My sister decided she needed some cheesy viewing and we are rewatching Robin Hood.
Salt, wound, leather, Gizzy…
Can you blame a girl for not being able to come up with a good non-RA post?
As I suffer my condition, I shall not suffer it in silence (I really can’t do anything in silence…).
So what almost everything reminds me of either Richard, a part he’s played, something I saw/read on tumblr or a fanfic?
Who said that’s not an appropriate way to view the world, filtered through the beauty that is Armitage?
Don’t answer those questions, don’t ever answer them!
If this is wrong, looking at RA, how can a girl ever want to be right?
(again, rhetorical question, no need to answer…).
And that’s what I’m going to be telling my grandbabies 🙂
I’m still in the throws of my academic reality, but I’ve left you alone for far too long, so as a peace offering I give you something sizzling to go with your morning coffee.
There’s just a quick photo for you today, one that I put together a looooong while ago and it’s been sitting in the image file forever.
It’s really hard to remember what possessed inspired me to create it, but I’m pretty sure it had something to do with a need to fiddle with Porter’s body (digitally of course…).
Anyway, I hope you all have a yummy morning and no matter where you are, make it a Full Porter 🙂
I’ve been toying with the idea of writing a series of (hopefully) humoristic posts about being a Richard Armitage Admirer.
Like most interesting ideas, I was running the risk of never actually bringing them into being until I came across info regarding one of our RA friends.
Melanie atMelanie’s Musing has given me the perfect opportunity to start off with the posts.
She’s trying to get her blogging hands on $10 000, but needs your vote to win, so please go here and support your fellow Richardette!
Let’s show the world the power of the Armitage Army!
I don’t know who the heck the winner so far Kendra Wells is, but she’s no Armitage Army Richardette!
You can vote once a day, so make sure you return and encourage others to do the same.
Just pretend that Melanie is Richard Armitage and we have to vote against Tom Hiddleston.
Back to the topic at hand!
ATTENTION Armitage Army!
Fall In!
Sgt. Porter is ready to drill you!
Mind out of gutter soldier!
At ease Richardettes*!
This hilarious term was created by Antonia Romera and is possibly the most underused phrase within our fandom 😉
Update:
Make sure you march over to Gisbornes Boy where Seba is giving you the chance to win a sexy Guy bag.
There was a Brady Bunch series where Jan, the middle daughter, complained that ‘It’s all about Marcia! Marcia!Marcia!”
I think we can easily apply this thinking to our little fandom, as it does all seem to be about Thorin! Thorin! Thorin!
I think it’s only natural that the lead-up to Richard’s biggest step in his career means we have shifted focus from other beloved characters.
I have observed that about 80% of Armitage news and posts is connected to The Hobbit.
Believe me, I know I’m guilty of focusing a majority of my posts on that little sexy bushy-eyebrowed devil!
I too am beyond excited about December, although I’ve vowed not to send a penny on merchandise until I actually see the movie, but it does make me feel like I’m ungrateful to the other RA characters.
Let’s not forget the months at a time when there’d be absolutely no RA news.
The drought was painful, and yet we survived and thrived because we found hidden depths in the characters available to us.
We had to dig a little deeper and flex our creative muscle to shed new light on old characters.
I miss Thornton and Porter a little and wonder when they will once again get the attention they deserve.
RT @JRhodesPianist: Want to give you ALL a Christmas present. But can't 😤
So RT & 2 of you will win a signed book & CD (both mine 😳) xx
(w… 6 years ago