*I snort, rolls my eyes, prepare to go to war about how stupid the idea was… but hold up… hold on one damn minute…this could works….yeeeessss…. this could work..kinda….*
Richard Armitage, you drive me round the bend!
I mean seriously, you need to give us all a break from your smoking hotness!
You drive us all crazy, so here’s a crash course on what cars different RA characters drive.
The car stopped with a jerk, then the jerk got out.
Our dear Grizzly Gizzy is a bit dangerous, therefore I can see him in a Hennessey Viper Venom 700NM.
I’m not saying Guy has self-esteem issues, but he’d definitely be driving an expensive stolen sports car.
Based on his behaviour many would rather see him in a Mazda LaPuta or Mitsubishi Pajero (a little Spanish joke there…).
Anyway, everyone’s fuming over the high cost of gas, but not to worry as Guy has the poor villagers running on fumes to keep that tank filled up.
Our favorite bookworm Harry Kennedy definitely wormed his way into our hearts.
It just isn’t fair how he fueled our fangirling imagination and he wins hands down.
With his John le Carré books and maths skills, he’s quite a Smart one.
At first he couldn’t figure out how to fasten his seatbelt, but then it clicked.
Many artists tend to be tanked most of the time, and Claude Monet would support his fellow painter and drive a Citroën Picasso.
Richard’s wig hardly revved our engines, but the part was an auto-matic hit with the fans.
It’s hard enough to maneuver the art world and stay in the race, but it’s easy to brush it aside when you travel in comfort.
Thorin Oakenshield, we’re all in this Armitage Admiration for the long haul.
Riding that pony such a long way must be taking its toll and you must be running on fumes (I still don’t get why the eagles could just drop you off closer to your destination).
Anyway, I’d like to offer you a more comfortable, not to mention worthy of a king, alternative meaning this Mustang.
This is the only horse power you need to get to where you’re going!
Just remember not to speed in the frozen areas because the Middle Earth police will stop you cold.
Drivers in a rush who stop at traffic lights often see red, but no such worries for our dear fast and furious John Porter as he’d roll alone along a desert road (apart from a few planes, tanks, terrorists, bombs and such).
That’s why I think he’d definitely need a Renault Duster with its own swanky protective scarf and sunglasses.
Also, the car manual stipulates the driver must be shirtless while operating this machine, dunno why, possible something to do with the gear shift…
On day 2 I asked you who your fave Armitage character and “go-to” viewage is.
And I told you all about mine. With the aid of some pretty pictures 😉
On day 4 of FanstRAvaganza I’d like to know which of the tall beauty’s nice, not so nice and a lot nicer than some characters you would….
Now, that charming chap from Leicester has played an array of characters. From tall handsome strangers… Hellooo, Harry Kennedy! To brooding “bad boys”… Sir Guy, throw me upon your steed & run away with me! There’s been topless tough guys… Oh, Sgt. Porter, I do like your…gun!>_> And most magnificent spies…. Well, you know my feelings on THAT MI5 agent… *ahem*
Just to spice things up a bit, and make it more fun. (And because I’m a bit of a meanie! ;P).
I have chosen 9of Armi’s characters and, picking their names out of a hat, (or in this case, my Thorin Oakenshield mug), I have split them into 3 random groups of, er, 3. Consider each 3 in turn.
And tell me
(please) If you absolutely definitely HAD to make a choice
(and let’s pretend you do!)
Who would you…
B). Sleep with
C). Take as your date to a
It’d be marvellous to know your reasons too!
First group of beauties:
Second group of swoon-er-roonies:
Third group of hot potatoes:
I know it’s tricky (very tricky!)
But think it through. Mull it over. Make yourself a cuppa and ponder the pros and cons of each option.
I had to think long and hard myself. For group one I finally decided I would….
MARRY: Lucas North
I couldn’t NOT marry my favourite spy. Plus I would get to wake up to THAT FACE every morning, stroke his glorious tattoos, and swoon over his legs all the live long day! (You know, when he’s not off spying & stuff!)
SLEEP WITH: Sgt. Porter
He’s just so tough and strong and steaming hot!!
I’d want him to pick me up and throw me on the bed! Yum!
TAKE AS MY DATE TO A SCHOOL REUNION: Thorin Oakenshield
How impressive would it be to bring a Hot Dwarf King from Middle-earth to your school reunion? Everyone would be in awe of him. Plus he’d have much prettier hair than all those bitchy girls you went to school with! Also, he could defend your honour with his sword fighting skills!!
* My choices are of course subject to change. -_-
As for groups 2 & 3…
I’ll have to think on it some more and get back to you! ^^
Well, I hope you enjoyed my little game!
Can’t wait to hear what you’d “do” with all these Armi-licious characters!
P.S. If you have any thoughts on anything else you’d like to – *ahem* – “do” with these characters, or any others I’ve not mentioned, please feel free to share that too!
Perhaps you’d like Ricky Deeming to take you for a ride on his motorbike? 😉
Or maybe you’ve had thoughts about spending time with Monet and his….canvas?! 😉 Don’t be shy: share!
I wish I could say that at first I didn’t like the beard, but it grew on me…
Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t kick it out of bed (out of fear Richard Armitage would come tumbling out of it as well seeing they’re kind of attached and what are the odds he’d climb back into bed with me a SECOND time?).
If I’m honest the only beard I want on a hot actor is the Victoria’s Secret model type on his arm on the red carpet, to keep up the illusion of him being straight (Ya know, just like…. Oh, insert almost any actor’s name here…).
Moving veeeeeery swiftly along in order to avoid the controversial g-a-y issue before things get a tad hairy….
No matter how hard I try to avoid the hairy thing, it seems to be following me (but not literally because that would be cause for great concern!).
Some say a man without a beard is very much like a woman with one, however I stand by every female’s right to grow one, especially if you’re a lady dwarf!
Anyway, as we stand by, holding our collective Armitage Admiration breath, watching out for any indication that Richard is in fact releasing the bearded beast from within just in time for NZ, I’d like to offer some suggestions on how to change that baby face into Cousin It.
Take my advice Richard Armitage, and you’ll be having me bitching about that bloody hairy thing in no time!
Firstly, and most importantly, stop shaving!
Assert your right, not to mention the need, to grow a beard.
Glueing on fake beards is for wimps and you’re not a wimp, are you Rich?
Richard Armitage, put the Gillette products down!
Eating a healthy diet can also aid the growth, so Richard, eat your vegetables at every meal.
Yes, even the spinach AND the brussels sprouts, unless you want a beard that looks like you’ve just hit puberty, and I start calling you Justin Bieber.
Talking of boys to men, growing a beard is an affirmation of manliness and masculinity, so make sure you puff that chest out, get a comb-over, have a few pints of larger, fart in bed, refer to some women as ‘Birds” and keep that testosterone level nice and high.
It is acceptable for you to belch in public while you are growing out the stubble, it’s the manly thing to do (especially if you’re eating non-rabbit food like meat!).
Also, wear plaid and drive a truck and NEVER use a coaster, at least till the beard has filled in nicely.
Going from stubble to Alf may cause irritation, so soothe your itchy newly bearded skin with a moisturizing lotion or other skin-care products.
I say, if it itches, just scratch it, kinda like when I get that itch to look at Richard Armitage and automatically scratch it by going online.
Once the hairy monstrocity cheek warmer grows out, it’s time to give it some TLC.
I read somewhere that trimming your beard is like tending a bonsai.
I’m suddenly overwhelmed with the thought that Richard’s beard is like a dwarf miniature tree in a container, and I’m feeling much less zen.
I’m trying to locate Treating Your Beard Like a Bonsai for Dummies on amazon, but they must have sold out.
Oh, and ladies, all of the above tips works quite well if you’re trying to grow some leg hair too.
You may wonder why I’ve spent so much time on something that should, in my humble opinion, be flushed down the loo (minus Richard of course).
I have great respect for the beard.
The beard (almost) single-handedly (or -hairly) has managed to earn a $1bn to date.
Not bad for some slightly greying facial hair growth!
Ps. The post title is inspired by The Love Song of J.Alfred Prufrock.
T.S Eliot is rolling in his grave and I do apologise for using his wonderful poem for my own silly amusement.
Welcome to one of the best weeks of the year to be an Armitage Admirer (and let’s be honest, it’s not too shabby on any ol’ day…).
This year is extra special over here at IWantToBeAPinUp as there’ll be a post each and every day during FanstRA4 and to help me out I am so happy to announce that I shall be sharing this space with a special guest blogger LittleSallyBoots, who you may recognize from the Armitage community over at Twitter (@Sally_Boots).
Ms Boots will be posting on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.
This is how she describes herself:
So I’m a borrower/dwarf-sized English lass who likes to doodle and drink lots of tea (it is the answer to life’s problems). I have lots of obsessions *ahem* passions and aspirations, including, one fine day, to stroke Richard Armitage (I am aiming high – quite literally for me!). I am muchly excited and a wee bit nervous to be blogging as a first time blogger on Agzy’s wonderful blog this week ^^ Happy FanstRA4 everybody!
How adorable is she?!?
Please make sure you give her plenty of wonderful energy and support as she’s popping her blogging cherry this week and she’s doing it in style.
She’s whipping her blogging hair back and forth!
She’ll be spinning posts right round baby, right round!
Without your positive vibes, she can’t get no bloggin’ satisfaction!
Anyway, you get the idea…
Armitage Army, I’ve often wondered who the hell you are!
I mean, seriously, who do YOU think you are?
Armitage Army, RArmy, Armitage Admirers- a rose by any other name would smell as sweet!
You are my most favorite aspect of Richarding, and one that keeps me coming back, keeps me interested, keeps me connected.
I’m a big fat fangirling cheater, but I’m loyal to my RA peeps!
No offence to Richard and his breathtaking attributes, but the quality of fans (admirers, stalkers, craycray’s, whatever name works for you…) is one of his absolute best features.
If the fandom was represented by an Armitage body part, I swear it would be Lucas North’s bum in tight wet denim jeans!
Or Porter’s abs… or maybe that royal hooter stuck conveniently right in the middle of his face…or those runner’s thighs…
Knowing more about the absolute best part of Richard (as far as I can tell and eliminating the cardigans he’s been wearing and I’ve been drooling over) has always been on my mind since I met you, and I’ve decided to compile a bunch of polls to basically satisfy my, and perhaps your, curiosity.
Just so we’re clear, I think the RA fandom is better than the RA cardigans… just not by much…
Anyway, the thing is, the poll results will be hidden until the last day of FanstRA4 when I shall reveal them in my final post on Sunday, because I’m evil like that and believe in delayed gratification (yours that is. Mine? Not so much…)..
I had grand plans for this project, seeing it as a fandom equivalent of Alfred Kinsey’s report on sex, but reality has taken me down a peg or two, so let’s water it right down like a jug of Sangria on a hot July evening, and be happy with the little things in life, like a jug of watered down Sangria *hiccup* on a hot July evening.
The questions (with multi-choice answers, even when more than one makes no sense at all) are very run-of-the-mill, so bear your soul and help this nosey parker 🙂
So, without further ado, I’ll take geography for 200, Richard (works only in a reality where RA is the host of Jeopardy!).
Ok, that was easy (enough), so let’s move on to the ‘nails on the chalkboard’ one.
Reminds me, I need to unscrew the lightbulbs in my house and start hosting guests by candlelight…
How about your Armitage experience?
How many hot British cucumber sandwiches are you buttering (and cutting the crusts off) in that naughty brain of yours?
Richard had me at Hello!… well, at punching Hot Pipe Stevens while managing not to damage his pocket watch (a talent I greatly admire in a man…), but what about you?
I bet Richard is a marathon man (you can understand it whichever way you like, I certainly won’t be explaining myself…), but what about your admiration?
It’s not only who you admire, it’s where you do it, and I don’t mean in the shower or on the bus coming home from work, so mind. out. of. gutter please!
It’s also important how you do it.
After all, there’s the right way, the wrong way, and the Armitage way (or Norway, which also works…).
No, but REALLY, how do you do it?
Are there any other questions regarding the RArmy that you’d like answered?
Is there some kind of fandom question tickling the back of your brain or any other part of you?
If so, please leave your ideas in comments and I’ll do my best to include your ideas into the post 🙂
Ps2. This post was, in part, inspired by a wonderful BBC series Who Do You Think You Are? which I really enjoy watching and can only regret Richard never took part in as I’d love to peek at the ancestors who produced such a fine specimen.
My favorite episode? Probably the Alan Cumming one.
FanstRA4 is breathing down my neck and it’s time to start setting things in motion (no pressure…), and all of ideas for posts for the events involve more than sitting and writing (which I can’t actually do all that well, hence the smoke and mirrors).
On the plus side my mind is starting to work in overdrive and I actually had a post idea at 5am and was so afraid it’d go away, so I actually got up to grab a pen and paper.
While I’m busy with that, and many other things, let me leave you with a video that had me in tears and suffocating with laughter yesterday.
Some say it’s fake.
I say: Who cares?
As someone commented, she literally has side burns now LOL!
Someone (I call her Miss DoubleS as in super smart for coming up with it…) sent the pics directly from PicMonkey, doing so anonymously, so remember you have the option to ‘share’.
I spent the last weekend at the cinema, trying to catch up on all those interesting Oscar films I’ve had to ignore during my exam season.
It was a mixed bag really, and none of the films really knocked my socks (or any other part of my clothing) off.
Time for an incy wincy confession- as I mentioned before, I absolutely love those few seconds right before the movie or play starts, when the lights go off and you’re waiting for things to start.
Each time it happened I was more than a little disappointed I wasn’t seeing The Hobbit.
Yup, I think I’ve finally flipped.
Reading dwarf porn and such didn’t convince me, but this has.
But I’ve not completely gone over to the dark side as I still refuse to watch it dubbed.
No, I tell you! Never!
Anyway, one of the movies we watched was the Kathryn Bigelow film Zero Dark Thirty.
I’m not going into details and I shan’t be reviewing it as I hardly think I’m objective as a student of American Culture, and have a somewhat warped insider/outsider perspective.
The reason I mention it though is because this happened:
The scene shows waterboarding.
I lean over to my BFF Max and whisper:
Me: That looks hellish. Do you know Richard had to film waterboarding twice and it was a horrid experience for him cos as a child he fell into a pond while strapped in a stroller and the experience scarred him for life and he hates water now, but even for Captain America he had to sit in this weird submarine capsule and then they had water pouring into it… poor Richard…. *catching my breath*
Max:Usually grandmothers tell their grandchildren anecdotes about their own life.
You’re gonna be telling them stories about Richard Armitage’s life…
Touché, my dear friend…
And I’ll provide plenty of pictures so my grandkids can see what a real man looked like back in the day…
On top of that, all that sexy commando crap featured in the movie has got me yearning for Porter, so I may have to pull out my combat pants and sexy scarves and give dear John Six-pack a visit soon.
Yes, it’s been a little Armitage crazy around here of almost no fault of my own, and that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!
Armitage obsession is an involuntary condition, something you contract, much like the flu.
Unlike the flu though, some milk and honey and garlic won’t make it all better (unless you think of a VERY creative way of using it… OK, nevermind…).
Then you also need the support of your loved ones to either help you quit altogether or make you as comfortable in your condition as possible.
My sister decided she needed some cheesy viewing and we are rewatching Robin Hood.
Salt, wound, leather, Gizzy…
Can you blame a girl for not being able to come up with a good non-RA post?
As I suffer my condition, I shall not suffer it in silence (I really can’t do anything in silence…).
So what almost everything reminds me of either Richard, a part he’s played, something I saw/read on tumblr or a fanfic?
Who said that’s not an appropriate way to view the world, filtered through the beauty that is Armitage?
Don’t answer those questions, don’t ever answer them!
If this is wrong, looking at RA, how can a girl ever want to be right?
(again, rhetorical question, no need to answer…).
And that’s what I’m going to be telling my grandbabies 🙂
Dear Fellow Armitage Admirers who have ridiculously good taste in men !
Although I should be focusing on the mammoth task I have ahead of me today, it being the day of ‘sink or swim’, my mind seems to want to find refuge in brainstorming FanstRA4 ideas.
The date for THE BEST ARMITAGE event (well, apart from Armitage Day, eeerrrr Armitage Week, King Richard Week…. OK, so we do like to celebrate a lot around here…) has been set for the second week of March 11th and will run for…not 1, not 2, 3? Nope… For 7 slamming saliva inducing days!
This year I decided to really flex my Armitage blogging abs (which exist only in virtual reality) and have a post for you each and every day throughout the week.
That right folk, I’m bringing absurd admiration to a whole new level!
I’m enlisting help to fill the space, so can anyone say GUEST BLOGGER?!?! 🙂
I shall remain mum as to this blogger’s identity for now, but I’m really excited.
Back to the topic at hand (no pun intended).
I need a hand (again, no pun intended) with a project I’ll be doing for FanstRA4.
RArmy, there’s no easy way to say this, I’ll I’ll just go right ahead and say it:
I need your body parts!
Before you start running for the hills or calling the cops on me, let me specify.
I need pictures of parts of you.
It can be parts of your face or body.
You are very welcome to send me a whole pic, but for privacy reasons, I’ll be more than content with small parts of you 🙂
The more the better, and I really do need hundreds!!!
If you’ve never done anything like that before and you’re not sure how to crop, here’s a small guide.
There are billions of ways to do this, but here’s a simple one.
Take a picture of yourself.
I shall use Richard as my model… and will continue to explain once I stop staring at his beauty…
If you are a blogger, and would like to take part (and who wouldn’t want to???), please fill out the form.
Please remember that not only bloggers and posts are needed, so be bold as a majestic dwarf ready to reclaim his gold and contribute in any way you can!
Think what YOU could do to make this event even hotter!
What would YOU like to share with fellow Armitage Admirers?
Let’s make this the BEST FanstRA EVER 🙂
Those of you who are new to the fandom may wonder what the heck a FanstRA is.
In short it’s an event that has in the past took place in March, that unites blogs from all corners of the globe, and results in a general tag team explosion of Richard Armitage goodness.
Think an RA orgy for each and every sense that will tickle you senseless…
This event celebrates the wonder that is Richard, but it’s also a time to celebrate our special fandom, for all of us to come together, and do some serious fangirling damage!
Last year’s event (and my first) was headed by Servetus, and she did an amazing job bringing this motley crew of overly enthusiastic dwarf-like bloggers together (you can check out FanstRA3 posts HERE).
Don’t let this perfect chance to celebrate with fellow Richardettes pass you by!