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I saw Something Fine: Crafty Thorin Stockingface

RAflash event

Today marks the start of the RA Flash Fan Event that will run starting Monday 13th of January and last a week.

You can find the list of all the posts from this event here.

The theme is I Saw Something Fine which we can interpret whichever way we like.

I had already scheduled this post and teased Guylty that I have a little surprise for her today, so let’s pretend I heard “I Saw Something Fine” and the following project sprung to mind ūüėČ

Let’s be honest, Thorin has inspired many others to create very beautiful (or very dodgy) stuff, and he sure is fiiiine, so I say it fits!

basic stuff

I’d been meaning to create a lil’ Thorin for some time, one that would complement the ever growing Thorin Book guards that see my off as I head out to work each day.

I had already gathered up all the necessary elements (yarn, felt and such) in autumn, but RL didn’t lend itself to arts and crafts.

With absolutely no plan in place and a very vague memory of doing cute little stocking faces when I was a child, I ventured into my very own Craft Mirkwood.

thorin stockingface

The process would have been much easier had I been able to locate my hot glue gun (last seen some time in 2011, a reward for any info regarding whereabouts…), so I ended up having to hand-stitch an awful lot.

And you need to know that I don’t sew. Nope, never ever…

Anyway, this was intended as a fridge magnet but I couldn’t get the darn magnet to stick to the back, so I quickly changed my non-existent plan and attached a hoop made of yarn so Thorin can be well hung… *cough*… moving swiftly along…

thorin stockingface 2Thorin Stockingface is in the company of gifts from friends ūüôā

This Thorin is actually going to be shipped off to a certain portable shrine in Ireland (because, let’s be honest, EVERY shrine needs a slightly dodgy hand-made puppet head of an angry dwarf to brighten up the place).

thorin stockingface unfinished

Anyway, I started on a second one for myself and I was aiming for a more angry eyebrow Thorin, but I think I stuffed him a tad too much, so we’ll see how this one turns out.

I’m already asking a very dangerous question:

Hey, can I make a full-sized one, thunder thighs and all…

I’ll keep you posted.

thorin 2

 

Have Yourself a Merry Dwarving Weekend!

Thorin Armitage mask

I thoroughly enjoyed the European premiere of The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug in Berlin.

Now I’m ready for Richard to take off his red carpet/promotional mask and done the Thorin one.

Entertain me Oakenshield!

As you read this I’ll already be in London, roaming museums, galleries and restaurants, ¬†waiting to catch the movie on Friday afternoon, courtesy of¬†a wonderful RA friend (thanks Guylty!).

Wherever you are, whenever you get to catch the next Hobbiting Adventure, I hope you have a wonderful time!

Whether you’ll be fangirling in your 3D glasses accompanied by fellow Armitage enthusiasts, or going it alone in quiet contemplation, remember:

 Have a BLAST!

Savour each moment!

Salivate/jump up and down in your seat/swoon/reach out and try to touch the majestic dwarf if you want to!

Then let’s meet back and fangirl¬†and ooof! the heck out of this sucker ūüėČ

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It’s not all a Barrel of Laughs for Thorin

I dare not write and schedule a post for the next few days in fear that tomorrow’s fan event will be loaded with delicious goodies and will spark new posts that conflict with what I’ve already had planned.

In the meantime, as we count down the hours, pray for extra strength internet connection and smooth streaming, I turned my attention back to The Hobbit AUJ.

Yesterday I cracked an obtained a copy of the movie (in that Arrrr Captain! way, if you catch my drift), all 2,5 GB of it and watched it for the first time since January.

Although the extended version is out on November 11th, I just couldn’t help myself and needed something to tide me over.

Richard Armitage swimming

I was also thinking how ironic it is for an actor who is afraid of water to always have to be drenched/dipped/drowned while playing a part.

He’s definitely been thrown in at the deep end more than once, but he’s been good about diving right into a part and has made waves with all of the parts he’s committed to.

I was thinking of making things a tad better for poor Thorin who no doubt did not find a particular scene a barren of laughs, so a few ideas were floating through my mind and this is what I came up with:

Thorin dwarf barrel swimming

Just look at our water baby, all snug, comfy and protected in full Thorin get up!

Better, right?

Thorin Oakenshield. The Sinner Dwarf

This post is just written for fun.

I know little about religious matter, and care even less, so any inaccuracies¬†pointed out¬†will probably¬†just be shrugged off by me, or in the words of a Catherine Tate’s character “Am I bothered?”.

This isn’t a post written by a Christianity/Dante specialist/enthusiast nor is it intended as a religious or¬†ethical debate, just a little light musing, so keep it clean, don’t make it mean ūüėČ

thorin seven deadly sins

Dante Alighieri’s epic poem The Divine Comedy (you may have heard of it, it’s a cheerful piece of writing, even Dan Brown agrees and used it in his latest book Inferno) lists the seven deadly sins.

I was going to find RA characters that were guilty of committing them, but one name kept on popping up in my head.

That Thorin sure is a naughty dwarf!

Let’s go down the list and see how he fares when put to the test.

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Luxuria (lechery/lust)

Lust is described as an intense desire and Thorin is certainly guilty of that.

This want includes money and power.

Check and check!

According to Dante’s Inferno, the sinner is blown about in¬†brutal hurricane-like winds, which¬†symbolises their¬†lack of self-control to their lustful passions in earthly life.

Black Sky/ Into the Storm anyone?

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Gula (gluttony)

This can be interpreted in different ways.

On the one hand, gluttony means overindulgence of meals, and the constant eating of delicacies and excessively costly foods.

So in other words, it’s simply being a dwarf…

On the other hand gluttony can be interpreted as selfishness, putting your own needs ahead of those of others.

This point is debatable as Thorin is no doubt a good leader to his people and has sacrificed a lot to ensure their survival.

Having said that, there’s this selfish need to reclaim what his ancestors possessed knowing that he’d have to sacrifice lives in the process.

This leads us to…

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Avaritia (avarice/greed)

I think we’re going to see $$$ in Thorin’s eyes the closer he comes to the mountain.

We know that greed will start consuming him as it did his grandfather.

Greed includes the hoarding of materials or objects, theft, especially committed by way of violence or trickery.

It’s also the manipulation of authority.

In Dante’s Purgatory, the punishment is to be laid face down on the ground,¬†bound¬† for having concentrated too much on earthly thoughts.

Is that like being tied up in sacks by trolls?

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Acedia (sloth/discouragement)

This is one of the sins I couldn’t really make stick to poor Thorin.

Sloth is sometimes defined as physical or spiritual laziness.

It can also be seen as¬†not doing¬†the things one ought to, a failure to utilize one’s talents and gifts.

If Thorin’s talent is to be majestic, he’s succeeded on¬†all fronts.

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Ira (wrath)

Poor Thorin, Wrath be thy middle name…

It is described as an inordinate and uncontrolled feelings of hatred and anger, self-destructiveness and violence.

True, Thorin’s enemies are difficult to like and they’ve been naughty in their own right, but Oakenshield hardly seems like the type to turn the other cheek and let bygones…

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Invidia (envy)

Just like greed and lust, envy describes an insatiable desire.

 The punishment is particularly nasty as the inner has their eyes sewn shut with wire because they have gained sinful pleasure from seeing others brought low.

Does “others” include dragons, if so Thorin is guilty!

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Superbia (pride)

Seen as the most serious sin (seriously…), is describes a desire to be more important or attractive than others.

¬†The sinner doesn’t or cannot¬†acknowledge the good work of others,¬†but also portrays an¬†excessive love of self.

With Thorin, where does being majestic stop and being prideful begin?

The penitents are forced to walk with stone slabs bearing down on their backs to induce feelings of humility.

I guess Justin Bieber’s bodyguards have been¬† prideful SOBs because that is one heck of a punishment…

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If I may, I’d like to suggest adding an eighth deadly sin:

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Donec nimis (overly sexy)

This is one sin Thorin is majorly guilty of.

And to make us fall for a dwarf, of all the hairy smelly creatures to roam Middle Earth, how rude!

The penance is obvious: giving massages¬†to all willing females (hopefully washing hand in between…).

Stills from RANet

Single and Ready to Mingle? Head for Middle Earth!

Middle Earth Lonely hearts Thorin

Do you know what Empire’s list of Sexiest Movie Stars 2013¬†tells me?

If you are single and ready to mingle, Middle Earth is the way to go!

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Don’t let the rocker look fool you, Aragorn is a man at one with nature.

He enjoys long strolls in the countryside and has basic Bear Grills/Boy Scout survival skills  that may come in handy when he takes you camping.

Aragorn has been in long-distance relationships before and is protective and loyal.

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Here’s¬†confirmed bachelor Bilbo Baggins.

Bilbo likes to take long walks in the Shire, cook and he fancies himself as a bit of a writer.

He’s looking for a gal who’s a home-body, shares his passion for elevenses and won’t eat the last pie in the pantry!

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If youthful energy is what you seek, Kili is your dwarf guy!

Kili enjoys going on adventures, extreme sports, and archery.

He’s a family man and likes nothing more than camping out, singing and telling stories around the fire.

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If it’s an active man you seek, √Čomer is the one for you!

This horse whisperer with a heart of gold enjoys riding out into the country, hunting and sword wielding.

Ladies, the man has a mane to die for, which seems to run in the family, so keep an eye out for your hair conditioner…

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Thranduil enjoys moose riding and realm domination.

He is looking for a woman who is not a dwarf.

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Legolas may seem like a tranquil sort of elf bloke, but he’s always up for an adventure, an enjoys travelling.

He is loyal and handy with a bow and arrow if that’s your sort of thing.

He’s also pretty fit, looks great in a pair of tights,¬†and enjoys cross-country runs and dwarf tossing.

And ladies, Legolas can carry a tune, so prepare to be serenaded.

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Despite having difficulties in reading maps, Thorin Oakenshield makes up for it in his majestic air.

He enjoys speleology, believes the sword is mightier than the pen, and likes bird watching (especially eagles).

He’s also into genealogy and tracing his family mountain tree.

Ladies, Thorin sure likes his bling¬†bling, so if you you’re looking for a playa’…

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Smaug is not for the faint-hearted, but he may well set your heart on fire.

He enjoys long naps and antique items, especially jewels.

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Ladies, the ratio of hot single men to women in Middle Earth is even better that in Alaska, so if you’re looking for a luv connection, maybe it’s time to grab your bow and arrow, pack up your¬†pony, and head out there!

The Almighty O’Gorman

Thorin Fili Kili Misty Mountain

The thing I like about epic films like The Hobbit is that, apart from your favourite actor (will the sexy Richard Armitage please stand up…), you become acquainted, and interested in,¬†new faces.

Although we’re all about Thorin Thorin Thorin!, I think we’ve fallen for the¬†other dwarves and it’s interesting to learn about their past and future projects.

I’ve mentioned Aidan Turner before, and how much I enjoyed watching Being Human¬†and Desperate Romantics¬†and how Aidan is the sexiest thing to come out of Ireland. Full stop.

Let me just pop a refresher pic here.

I would Kili¬†to run my fingers through those beautiful curls and since he’s chopped them off I may actually be able to buy them on ebay ūüėČ

Today I’m writing about another dwarf, one that is attached to the hip (and other parts if you’re a fan of Durincest…) to Kili and Thorin.

I had no idea I’d enjoy spending my evenings with Dean O’Gorman!

Here’s how it all went down.

In spring I start accumulating things to watch during my free summer months.

It’s usually an ad hoc process getting my hands on¬†things either¬†recommended, chosen because of a specific actor, anything with the BBC¬†stamp on it or featuring people in frilly costumes¬†etc.

When Magzy and I watch stuff during this time I have to be careful with what I suggest.

Unfortunately, she doesn’t share my passion for costume dramas and such, so I have to maintain a healthy balance between what my heart desires and what she’ll put up with.

After two great choices- The IT Crowd and Homeland, and two we stopped watching after an episode or two- Black Books and Miranda, I knew I had to serve up something good or pay the consequences and bear her wrath!

After much deliberating (seriously, it was close to 78 seconds!) I finally popped on The Almighty Johnsons.

It was a bold choice as I had only seen 3 episodes a while back when I was home sick (not homesick…), it’s a Kiwi production and the main¬†plot seems a bit dodgy.

I needn’t have worries because we’re loving it ūüôā

A NZ fantasy comedy/drama television series, it follows the Johnson family which consists of four brothers and a hippy cousin (ah, but is he?).

This isn’t an ordinary bunch of amusing misfits-¬†they are actually reincarnations of Norse gods who have lost most of their powers and need to venture on a quest to restore their position in the pantheon.

Matters are complicated by the existence of goddesses who are bent of maintaining the present order and will stop at nothing to keep the brothers from reclaiming their powers.

Gods are fickle creatures and the appearance of Thor and Loki does not make matters any better.

The series is very funny, the producers rely on witty dialogue and good acting/plots to keep viewers entertained, so don’t expect any fancy CG to move things along.

Although the quest to reclaim their powers is at the heart of the story, we also follow the characters as they try to deal with very human issues.

We’ve just started season two (the third is now airing in NZ) and it’s a breath of fresh air.

The accent needs some getting used to.

We marvel at how words are pronounced, like in the¬†one scene where¬†O’Goman¬†calls his brother an eeg!

The heck is an eeg, we thought.

He goes on to say: Like an eeg¬†you need to get layed ūüėČ

Guess he meant egg!

The brothers are lovable, and O’Gorman’s playboy character provides comic relief.

Anders is the reincarnation of the god Bragi, the poet who uses his voice to manipulate people.

By people I mean leggy blonds and by manipulate I mean get them in the sack.

Although you’ll catch yourself thinking: He’s so little, what I like is they don’t try to disguise the fact that Dean resembles a dwarf in stature, and it certainly doesn’t take away from his alluring persona.

No Tom Cruise shoe lifts here!

He is one lean mean (clad in expensive suits) seductive machine.

What can I say? Bragi’s got game and doesn’t mind bragging about it!

This is one series to watch and it’s available on YT, so do yourself a favour and go play with the gods!

On a side note, I just got news that I was¬†the winner of the Breanna¬†Hayse¬†Giveaway¬†over at Daddy’s Little Lobster!

I’m very excited as I never actually win anything and last week I won the lottery- just¬†a couple of euros, but it covered¬†some of my competition costs, and now I won a Hayse book!

Yay and thank you!

The Love Song of R.Crispin Armitage’s Beard

FanstRA4 Banner grey kopia

Oh the beard, THE beard, the BEARD!

I’ve done so many different things to it and with it, apart from sitting on it actually touching it (which would be crossing so many lines, not to mention laws, even I know that…).

Let me see:

¬†I’ve fixated on it, I’ve sold it, I’ve even¬†created¬†a Beard Fairy.

Richard-Armitage-by-Robert-Ascroft moustach pointy beard

The punchline?

I wish I could say that at first I didn’t like the beard, but it grew on me…

Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t kick it out of bed (out of fear Richard Armitage would come tumbling out of it as well seeing they’re kind of attached and what are the odds he’d climb back into bed with me a SECOND time?).

If I’m honest the only beard I want on a hot actor is the Victoria’s Secret model type on his arm on the red carpet, to keep up the illusion of him being straight (Ya know, just like…. Oh, insert almost any actor’s name here…).

Moving veeeeeery¬†swiftly along in order to¬†avoid the controversial g-a-y issue before things get a tad hairy….

Richard Armitage Man card

No matter how hard I try to avoid the hairy thing, it seems to be following me (but not literally because that would be cause for great concern!).

Some say¬†a man without a beard is very much like a¬†woman with one, however I stand by every¬†female’s right to grow one, especially if you’re a¬†lady dwarf!

Anyway, as we stand by, holding our collective Armitage Admiration breath, watching out for any indication¬†that Richard is in fact releasing the bearded beast from¬†within just in time for NZ, I’d like to offer some suggestions on how to change that baby face into Cousin It.

one hot fluffy mess

Take my advice Richard Armitage, and you’ll be having me¬†bitching about that bloody hairy thing in no time!

Firstly, and most importantly, stop shaving!

Assert your right, not to mention the need, to grow a beard.

Glueing on¬†fake beards is for wimps¬†and you’re not a wimp, are you Rich?

Richard Armitage, put the Gillette products down!

Don't fake it! Armitage beard

Eating a healthy diet can also aid the growth, so Richard, eat your vegetables at every meal.

Yes, even the spinach AND the brussels sprouts, unless you want a beard that looks like you’ve just hit puberty, and I start calling you Justin Bieber.

All Man Richard Armitage

Talking of boys to men, growing a beard is an affirmation of¬†manliness and masculinity, so make sure you puff that chest out, get a comb-over, have a few pints of larger, fart in bed, refer to some women as ‘Birds”¬†and keep that testosterone level nice and high.

It is acceptable for you to belch in public while you are growing out the stubble, it’s the manly thing to do (especially if you’re eating non-rabbit food like meat!).

Also, wear plaid and drive a truck and NEVER use a coaster, at least till the beard has filled in nicely.

Thorin Beard shampoo

Going from stubble to Alf may cause irritation, so soothe your itchy newly bearded skin with a  moisturizing lotion or other skin-care products.

I say, if it itches, just scratch it, kinda like when I get that itch to look at Richard Armitage and automatically scratch it by going online.

Once the hairy monstrocity cheek warmer grows out, it’s time to give it some TLC.

Armitage Bonsai

I read somewhere that trimming your beard is like tending a bonsai.

I’m suddenly overwhelmed¬†with the thought that Richard’s beard is like a dwarf miniature tree in a container, and I’m feeling much less zen.

I’m trying to locate Treating Your Beard Like a Bonsai for Dummies on amazon, but they must have sold out.

Oh, and ladies, all of the¬†above tips works quite well if you’re trying to grow some leg hair too.

You may wonder why I’ve spent so much time on something that should, in my humble opinion, be flushed down the loo (minus Richard of course).

I have great respect for the beard.

The beard (almost) single-handedly (or -hairly) has managed to earn a $1bn to date.

Not bad for some slightly greying facial hair growth!

Ps. The post title is inspired by The Love Song of J.Alfred Prufrock.

T.S Eliot is rolling in his grave and I do apologise for using his wonderful poem for my own silly amusement.

Ye can bet yer scurvey legs I’m missing The Hobbit!

Thorin Richard Armitage Pirate

Shhhhhh! *whispers* It’s me… don’t look around, pretend I’m not here…

Ahoy, me Hearties!

I should be studying hard, but being away from the fandom has actually opened¬†up a floodgate of RA-ish related thoughts, not to mention a mean case of the North & South itches which I can’t seem to scratch no matter how many fanfics I read, and how many Thornton cravats I tie (and untie) in my mind…

Also, Richard and¬†I¬†had a bit of a tiff yesterday (although only one of us was aware of it for obvious reasons…) but I’ll tell you about it some other time.

I digress.

I have a quick question for you today, and was wondering what your opinion is.

I won’t be seeing The Hobbit in the cinema anymore.

Unfortunately¬†there’s¬†only the dubbed version still¬†out, and I have clearly not yet lost my mind to sit through 3 hours of seeing Richard and yet not hearing him.

I can’t however wait for the release of the DVD, apparently scheduled for release 19th of March in the US.

No, really, I can’t wait.

Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!

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I know I’ll be buying The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey DVD¬†the moment it’s out, but I wouldn’t mind having something to tide me over.

I’ve been checking my usual online sources, but there haven’t been any good copies out, and I’m too afraid to download it from a torrent.

A part of me feels a bit icky about even contemplating it, while on the other hand it’s not like Warner won’t get my money anyway…

So, I have a question for you today, my dear Mayteys, but remember:

Dead men tell no tales, savvy?

So speak your mind or walk the plank!

By the way, if you do decide to cross over to the dark side, you’ll probably need a new Buccaneer¬†name:

OK,¬†Bloody Bones Holystone needs to¬†go and get back to scrubbing the deck (aka studying for her philosophy exam…)!

Turner turns me right round, baby, right round…

Kili

It’s a big day tomorrow¬†here at IWantToBeAPinUp, so a quick post for today.

Have I mentioned that I find Aidan Turner a bit attractive?

No?

Well, I do.

I’m crushing on the so-called Sexy Dwarf hard (HARD I TELL YOU!!!).

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I’m not¬†trying to¬†be crude¬†when I state¬†that I wouldn’t mind him burrowing in my Lonely Mountain…

or braiding my bushy beard…

or swinging his sword in my direction…

*insert your own innuendo*

The fangurl in me picks  specific physical traits to crush over.

With Richard Armitage it’s the rear and the thunder thighs.

With Aidan?

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It’s the cheeky grin and adorable hair!

And the Irish accent… I’m a gonner…

Hey, Aidan may be sexy and he knows it, I’m shallow and I know it too¬†ūüėČ

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For those who would like to delve deeper into the wonder that is Aidan Turner, I suggest checking out the BBC series Being Human (more here), where he plays a tormented vampire Mitchell, and Desperate Romantics where he plays the member of the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood Dante Gabriel Rossetti.

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Talking about brooding beauty, Dean O’Gorman (Fili)¬†took a series of photographs of some of The Hobbit cast, including Turner, where they portray Vietnam soldiers.

The pacifist in me is seriously conflicted!

Aidan Turner soldier

Here’s¬†how actor/photographer/painter O’Gorman¬†explains the thought behind the shoot:

“I’m not trying to trick anybody, but I’m just trying to play with the idea of how you feel about something that is not real but is made to seem real? Movies do it all the time, but often within photography I find it’s approached with quite an obvious parody or irony, I wanted to try to be more sincere.”

If you have a moment, check out Dean’s page and the other photos from the series.

There’s also an interesting article on Dean here.

Enjoy¬†the boys¬†and I hope to see you here tomorrow ūüôā

Bushy Dwarf Brows are So Hot Right Now!

I’ve committed the cardinal sin of blogging by writing a handful of posts, writing but not finishing them, leaving them in the Draft file, and not publishing them.

I’m also struggling to adjust to the scheduling posts system after the summer.

In my defence I’ve been busy taking care of Mizz¬†AgzyM¬†and that is eating up (no pun intended…) a big portion of my time.

I’ll leave the details for my WW post tomorrow ūüôā

If I asked you what body part is the hot thing right now, I’m sure you’d answer:

The Bushy Beard!

Some of our favorite sexy actors have been sporting facial hair so attractive that the bushy wonders have made fangurls around the world take notice.

Never before have we loved the lip, chin and cheek warmer so much!

Sorry to tell you, but bushy beard are SOOOOOO last month!

Move over furry face, here comes the:

Caterpillar Bushy Brow

Thorin is rocking some serious scruffy brows and I am venturing a guess, though I may raise a few eyebrows, ¬†that it will set the fashion world ablaze…again…

This new trend thrills me as I have quite thick brows.

Believe me, when they’re left to their own devices, I joke they need pinning back so I can see where I’m going.

Usually when I go to get them done the ladies¬†at the salon Ooooo!¬†and Ahhhh!¬†over them, and it’s all fun and games till the tweezers and hot wax comes out.

Then it’s all just one big Ouch!

I’m in good company though and I don’t just mean ¬†Thorin!

There’s nothing like I thick eyebrow to accentuate eyes and they do make you look younger, and who doesn’t love that!

The uni is where I draw the brow line, but I admire someone who can make it cool, like the wonderful Frida Kahlo.

Some other actors have also embracing their grizzly brows, like Benedict Cumberbatch.

The thicker fuller look is so in right now!

Celebrate The Hobbit with the Dwarf bow look!

 Instead of plucking your brows to about an inch of their life and then have to  pencil them in, so make sure you look after them.

Go to a specialist to have them nicely shaped, but be warned!

The chances are¬†that if¬†the beautician has 2 thin lines drawn on her face. maybe it’s good to go somewhere else.

A specialist will give you advice on how to strengthen your brows and will understand that over-plucked hairs may never grow back again.

It’s time to embrace the Dwarf Brows just in time for The Hobbit¬†ūüôā

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