RSS Feed

Amitage Moustache Madness

We’ve seen Richard’s face sporting all levels of fuzziness, from smooth as a baby’s bottom to hairy beary, but not so much with moustaches.

I remember there being a dodgy lip warmer in Malice Aforethought and Miss Marie Lloyd, but I think that’s it (please correct me if I’m wrong).


Staches aren’t exactly the height of fashion now, and my dad seems to be the only man who can pull one off.

Don’t get me wrong, we’ve tried to get him to shave, but it’s just become a part of him and I think he feels bare without it.

If you think there’s not much to a moustache, think again!

There are different shapes and sizes.

Don’t believe me?


And if you want to get all fancy and europeany about it, here’s a posher version of the good old moustache chart (you snob!):


First up, the Fu Manchu, is a full, straight moustache that grows downward past the lips and on either side of the chin.

The pointed ends hang towards or past the jaw line.

To me it’s more like the Fu Hell’s Angels, but what do I know…

Armitage moustache 1

Next up is a cross between the Regular Mo and Handlebar, although I’m getting a hint of Dr Watson too.

Quick, pass the pipe and an annoyed Sherlock.

Armitage moustache 2

If a more slick version is your cup of tea, how about the full Handlebar.

He look like he’s about the release doves from his sleeve and sew a woman in half (I volunteer, Richard The Ravenous!).

Armitage moustache 3

Then we have the Dali, which makes everyone look like a pompous twat artsy.

I could just go around drawing these on every magazine cover model.

I could just go around drawing these on Richard.

I could go around….Richard…

Armitage moustache 4

Next up is something that I’d like to call Dali in the Rain.

It’s what my hair does when I curl it and step outside my house.

Armitage moustache 5

If the purpose of a moustache is to warm the upper lip then this style has it covered (pun intended).

It’s the Walrus, but it looks like the Horseshoe on steroids.

The phrase “Waiter, waiter, there’s a hair in my soup” is unavoidable…

Armitage moustache 6

By now you could have noticed that the chin was getting a little lonely, so here’s a Handlebar and Chin Puff.

Sometime a man just needs to get his sleaze on…

Armitage moustache 9

We need an Armitage Admirer poll to select the best option for Richard, so I’ve compiled some poll options.

And “no moustache” is not an option, sorry to say!

Let’s imagine that Richard in the mayor of Moustacheville in Moustachion county, New Moustache state, The United States of Moustache.

In other words, he’s getting a moustache and you’ve just got to deal with it 😉

Here are your options:

Armitage Moustache poll

So, I moustache you this question:

Can you guess which one is my favourite?

Armitage moustache 10

“Sacre bleu, ver ees Marguerite goin wit de basket full ov baguettes and fromage?

Regarder en arrière à moi, you fille stupide!”♦

♦ I don’t speak French, can you tell?

 Oh là là, I can’t lie, Monsieur Jean Thornton is turning me on 😉

About Agzy The Ripper

Sew, Rip, Repeat... and love each moment of it! Join me as I embark on a myriad of sewing and crafting shenanigans.

48 responses »

  1. But you didn’t give us the choice of your favourite in the poll! Not fair!

    Have a look at Between the Sheets (flashback) for a seriously dodgy circle beard – it looks ghastly on Richard… (I imagine it does on everyone, actually). 😦

  2. You forgot Claude Monet from the Impressionists~ 😉 Does that count?
    I think the Dali moustaches make every man look a little more sort of evil, like the bad guy in the story. As if they are this master mind of crime that likes to stroke his moustache as he thinks haha

    • No beards count today! It’s just moustache madness!
      I agree with the Dal moustache, it makes him look like a bat burglar who is gentleman by day and jewellery thief by night! He can break into my house any night, just as long as I’m awake to see him creep in in his tight black clothes 😉

      • Yes~! that’s exactly what I was thinking about~ The jewelry thief that sneaks at night.
        Haha, I’m pretty sure we would not mind him sneaking into the house 😉 I’d be awake if he does considering how late (or early depending on how you see it) I go to sleep~

        • I once had an actually thief sneak into my hotel room and rob us blind, but we slept through it and had a nasty surprise in the morning. I will only permit Richard to sneak in, and only if I’m awake and things play out like in a tacky romance novel… Those are my terms!

          • Yes, I would agree on those terms as well~
            We’ve never had a break in on the house but my dad was robbed sometimes at gun point on his business 16 times when we lived in Mexico City.

          • OMG that’s insane. I can only be happy that in Europe we have a very strict policy with guns. We’re all gun controlled out, and it really makes for a different way of life. Other bad things can happen, but at least they rarely involve shootings.

    • Oh dear, that’s CAT and not bat burglar, but it seems Armitage missing out on Batman is still in my thoughts 😉

  3. I’m anti-moustaches and almost all of us will agree that moustaches are not sexy ! I prefer his perfect ubersexy five o’clock shadow !
    BTW JeanThornton speaking Franglish is very funny (but so true !)

    • LOL! Are you trying to say that one of the sexiest men alive couldn’t pull off even a moustache? We would have said the same about bushy beards prior to The Hobbit! I think that man would make everything look good, or at least sexier 😉

      • You are right Agzy ! I don’t like moustaches alone BUT with a beard it’s different. I adore Thorin Oakenshield’s beard et celle de Richaaard aussi !!!!

  4. I really can’t bear the vision of RA with moustaches and no beard. That said, I’d take him anyway 😛 I voted the Option I’m not allowed to choose, but if you force me I’d say 7.

  5. Moustache – biggest turn-off of the century. I’d even take a beard over *that*. But I must say that I had a very good time surveying the skilfully applied options you presented, Agzy. If anything, it would have to be the handle-bar and puff, because that approximates the only facial hair style (the round beard that Helen so abhors) that I find vaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaguely cool on a man. Still – one shudders.

    • LOL! I’m getting some extreme reactions to my suggestions. The only thing that would make it better is if Richard was recently photographed sporting a stache! You’d have a new ooof post pic and I’d go around feeling smug 😉

      • I can live with that *ggg*. I can take a lot of slagging as long as I have some new eye-candy to console myself with. And with some selective vision I’d blank out the ‘tache and concentrate on eyes, throat, nose instead 🙂 Win-win for all?

  6. Richards always look gReA to me: with or without a moustache (although I’m not a bit fan of moustaches)!!! 😉

  7. the moustache is actually becoming popular again, here in the US 😉 my dad has always had one, and now I tell him he’s finally back in style *laughs* I don’t prefer them, but I don’t hate them either. (I don’t despise the Malice aforethought one as much as everyone else seems too) it all depends on the style and the person.

    • Maybe because were are the daughters of moustache dads we don’t see it in such a terrible light 😉 We know that there’s a cool man behind the furry lip. Mine looks younger without his, but then my mother goes on (and on…and on…) about how it’s his thing and it’s what makes him recognisable, so he ends up growing it back. It’s neat and nicely trimmed, with a touch of silver, so I can’t complain. He’s young at heart and loves shopping at Tommy Hilfiger, going to music festivals and such, so I guess he can keep the moustache!

  8. I picked the one that looks best on him given the choices, but my favorite ‘stache is truly the Fu Manchu. My husband’s is an Americaine. He shaved it off once, we laughed for days until it grew back. My choice for him would have been the MA ‘stache. That is me as the Resident RA stylist giving my worthless opine. No applause, just throw money.

  9. I went with number 2 – best of a bad lot. I think RA (and Thorin) looks fine with the ‘stache- beard combo, though. We’ve had a few well known sportsmen over the years for whom the moustache has become something of a trademark- a couple of cricketers, and John Newcombe the tennis player, who even used it as his business logo, it was such an iconic part of his look. All sorts of ugly facial growths pop up in ‘Movember’ in the name of charity.

    • I was just going to mention Movember, it’s such a funny idea and I like how growing a stache transforms the face. Everyone is so down on the idea of Richard having a furry lip, but I guess they’d think he looked adorable if he was ever in a “Got Milk” ad 😉 Double standards!

  10. Very informative! Many thanks for exposing us to such a variety of mustaches … might consider doing an Anglaise myself …. bahaha! 😀 … I’m sticking with my mild Amiricaine (+ slight beard) 😉

  11. Too many mustacheod Richards on my screen! Aaargh! My eyes!

  12. Very funny post! I am not adverse to moustaches as my husband has been sporting one for many years. That said, I would hate for RA to have a big, bushy stache that covered up his beautiful lips!
    For some reason I find #8 looks rather fetching on him. 😉

  13. Like KatharineD I went with the best of a bad lot, # 2.
    My husband has had a moustache for many, many years. He shaved it off once and I couldn’t wait for it to grow back. 🙂
    When it comes to facial hair on Richard, stubble’s best, all the better to see every inch of that lovely face of his, but I did grow fond of the beard.

  14. Dzięki za ten wąsaty post 🙂 Będąc młodym dziecięciem uwielbiałam słuchać wąsatego Andrzeja Rybińskiego, który „nie liczył godzin i lat…” więc wybrałam nr6 😉

  15. Pingback: Richard Armitage Legenda 96: Stuff worth reading | Me + Richard Armitage

  16. No, I love Richard with a beard and with a shadow but no moustache at all please. Some are fine with that but not Richard.


Have Your Say!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: