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On growing a pair and listing some smutty fanfic just cos…

As you know, I’ve been spending too much lots of time on Tumblr.

One of my favorite things to do is go through the fanfic published there, and I know I’m not the only one (high-five to my smutty friends…).

I had been meaning to write a post on different variations of The Hobbit fanfic, but truth be told, it’s not for the fainthearted and I couldn’t be bothered to deal with stuff.

I’m very happy that Jas decided to post her favorite Aidean, Bagginshield, and Durincest stories, risking getting an earful from one or two  high and mighty readers expressing their dissatisfaction, who will inevitably stop by.

I cowered away from posting my own list, feeling like I really didn’t want to rock the proverbial boat.

So, in essence, I’ve tried to support any fellow blogger whose freedom of expression was questioned, but I shied away from posting what I really wanted out of fear of having to deal with some people.

Time to right this wrong and grow a pair!

Here’s the place where I give you fair warning.

The themes of the stories may be disturbing to some.

These are erotic stories, real people fics, slash and general NSFW and smut galore!

If any of these things don’t appeal to you, please go on your merry way and I hope to see you back here some other time 🙂

Please PLEASE don’t leave comments about how you disapprove of these sorts of things as you got plenty of warning beforehand!

Firstly, remember that you can track the different tags on Tumblr:




Here’s a list of different fanfics that have caught my eye.

I don’t really have the habit of saving things on my computer, so it’s hard to say if these are the best of the bunch.

I have added a link to the authors, so you can check out other stories of authors who have caught your eye.

Please feel free to add links to other fanfics that you’d like to share 🙂

My choices are a bit heavy on Kili + Fili for obvious reasons, so I tried to get a bit of Thorin in there too, just to balance things out.

I’m not going to categorise the fanfic and pass judgment as to how smutty they may be, some are PG-13 fluff, others are right down dirty, so just assume you’re clicking on filth most of the time 🙂


Durincest fic:

 To Love Only Once

Author: shinigami714

Dwarves only love once, and Fili and Kili discover they are meant for each other. But still they are brothers, and struggle with that knowledge. Getting intimate is…difficult to say the least. Fili/Kili, incest, sex.

Even in Death

Author: shinigami714

Fili and Kili survive the final battle and look forward to spending their lives together. However Thorin and Dis have other plans for the two brothers, and they do not take the news well. Fili/Kili, angst, incest, character deaths.


Author: sospes

It’s Fili’s birthday and thanks to Radagast’s tricks he gets double of what he wants most.

Spun Gold


Part 1 of The Bath Time Tales, Kili + Fili

Carved Ebony


Part 2 of The Bath Time Tales, Kili + Fili

Kisses for Braids


Fili messes his hair up on purpose so he can have Kili fix it for him.

A Really Unexpected Journey


Kili + Fili + Thorin. Nuff said…

Marked by Fate


Kíli comes of age, and is difficult about the whole thing.

Brothers Be

Author: shinigami714

Fili and Kili hate each other with a passion and fight constantly as a result. Thorin, annoyed at their stupidity sends the brothers on a task with the hope that they will solve their issues.



Kili + Fili  and how do you miss a group of trolls stroll on by and take a couple of horses?

Chocolate (aka BOOM Threesome)


The Rivendell elves, either because they are dicks or because they don’t know any better, give the dwarves provisions for their trip which include chocolate. Chocolate is an aphrodisiac to dwarves, but since it’s so scarce not many dwarves are aware of this fact. Fili and Kili, the two youngest and most inexperienced dwarves, think nothing of eating the chocolate and Thorin is the one who gets to deal with the repercussions.

The World is Ahead (But Tonight We Rest)


The Dwarves settle in for the night at Bag End. In which Thorin is long suffering, Kili is a devious brat and Fili isn’t quite sure why he puts up with him.


Author: Theresa

Fili and Kili wash themselves as Thorin walks in  on them…

When Three is Company


Bilbo settles into a strange new routine with Fili and Kili, but finds himself dwelling on the younger’s comments at the springs…


A Princely Reward Part 1: Thorin/Dwarf who found the Arkenstone

Author: wicked_thorin

King Thror, as in gratitude, let’s the dwarf who found the Arkenstone name his price.
He choses a night in bed with the dwarven prince.



Your Name Like Ink on my Skin


While Thorin has a tea cup and a tiny, beautiful B on his wrist (that he keeps covered at all times), Bilbo’s wrist is completely unmarked. This causes tension and misunderstanding until Thorin catches Bilbo with his back unclothed.

Punishment (aka BILBO GETS KINKY)


Bilbo lips off, and Thorin has to punish him…

A Hobbit’s Business


In Rivendell, Bilbo Baggins receives a golden necklace from a certain dwarf, thus causing him to learn much more about dwarven courtship than he’s ever bargained for. And as they soon realize, curiosity and worse has taken both sides, thus changing the very fabrics of their journey.

Recovery, Redemption and Romance


When Thorin is injured in the Battle of the Five Armies, Bilbo surprises everyone with his healing abilities.
Then as Erebor starts to rebuild he continues to surprise people with his knowledge and skills. On top of everything else that is occurring there is a dwarf king and a hobbit who might be trying to court one another without the other knowing – while their companions are either helpful or confusingly gleeful.

RPF (Real life fiction):

Smart in a Stupid Way

A PG-13 Richard Armitage + Lee Pace fic.

Please add links to other fanfics you enjoyed in comments 🙂

Click on images to be directed to the source.

About Agzy The Ripper

Sew, Rip, Repeat... and love each moment of it! Join me as I embark on a myriad of sewing and crafting shenanigans.

22 responses »

  1. *ehem ** ehem* dzięki Agzym:D zara się zbiore na odwage:)…rzekła poprawiając piżamę i szlafrok (no co? tak jeszcze w pizamie- dziś Sobota!)…idę sobie zrobić kawy,unikajac luster po drodze;) …. o żesz ty w ząbek czesany!..zapomniałam ze muszę dziś zrobić zakupy dla taty i jego dziewczyny(lezą złożeni grypą)…to przeczytam później i dam Ci znać:)

    • Kochana, świnstewka nigdzie nie zniknął (nawet jak co po niektóre osoby by baaaaardzo tego chciały). Osrzegam że jak człowiek tak usiądzie i zacznie czytać, to tak może siedzieć kilka godzin dobrych. Potrzebna będzie: butelka wody, nocnik ewentualnie pieluch, w zależności od preferencji, jakieś witaminy i batony proteinowy ( by nie podupaść na siłach), poduszka na odleżyny LOL!

  2. Thanks for sharing the links Agzy and hope you’ll not get hypocritical judgment on this topic !

  3. Bravo Agzy! We smutty minded gals have to stick together. I can’t wait to read these. I hope the judgmental will stay away from your post. For the most part they seem to be remaining silent, which I greatly appreciate.

    Oh, and this is my favorite fic of the moment, Baggins and the Smith:

  4. Good for you! And: thanks for the links!

    • Yes, there no point talking about a blogger’s right to decided about the content, no point taking up arms to try and fight/defend it if you actually shy away from exercising that right. I just needed to trust my readers a bit more, but it’s an excellent lesson for the future.

      • I have come a long way when it comes to my tolerance levels with regards to fanfic. But I think even if one is uncomfortable with a certain type of fanfic, there is nothing that can be done about it except ignoring it. It is out there anyway and everyone who plays a popular character gets this treatment including slash and RPF.

        I think it is a great thing that Thorin has inspired such a wave of fanfic and that he and his relationship with Bilbo obviously managed to strike a chord. I remember several cases when RA’s character was involved with a female on screen and it inspired nothing but disbelieve in the pairing. So they must have done something right this time. I think one of the reasons may be that Bilbo is a great character to identify with. Unlike some of the female love interests we barely knew.

        • That’s a very good point. I was wondering about why the pairing of these characters (Thorin, Blibo, Kili and Fili) would inspire a sea of straight women to believe and support. I actually heard people dissatisfied about the potential love match between Kili and one of the few females- Tauriel. Maybe the (sad and werd) truth is we don’t mind ‘losing’ a character to a male, whereas having him ‘ship’ another female spikes out jealousy 🙂 Far-fetched perhaps, but it would stand to reason that if the characters are attracted to men, we’re not missing out, so we can support the pairing.
          It’s not like there’s so much Kili/Fili backstory (the movie doesn’t even mention that Thorin is their uncle for example) which could actually be a bonus beacuse it gives more artistic freedom.

  5. Hey, what happened to all the Mary Sue stories? Are there no lusty wenches in this universe? Surely there must be one Elf in Rivendale who can catch Thorin’s eye. How about Bofer and a Hobbit wench, now that would make a fun romp. I don’t have a stroke over the shipping, I just don’t think that it works here — not enough background.

    • Quite the contrary, I think bagginshield works exceptionally well. The film provides all the background needed and it feels much more natural than inserting a female character. It is not just about “a fun romp” it is about two characters we get to know well and that have developing relationship falling in love, at least most of the stories I have read and enjoyed. Though I’m not interested in the Kili/Fili stuff, those two are just young and cute and have very little background. On the other hand, there is some beautiful artwork out there. RPF usually makes me uncomfortable but the piece link was beautiful once I got over the names of the people involved.

      • I agree with your comments about Bagginshield and have found that the fanfic I’ve read has actually shifted my erception and has influenced the way I saw The Hobbit last night (for the 4th time). I actually giggled when I thought about why perhaps the Durin boys hadn’t noticed that big fat trolls had stolen the ponies 😉
        I’ve found that I’m pushing my limits with Fili/Kili, especially that involves such a taboo, and yet writers have managed to create a scenario where you believe in destiny, the perfect mate, ‘the one’ and the story between Kili/Fili (ala Milli and Vanilli) isn’t icky. It helps that they are dwarves, therefore we know so little aboat their mating habits and you can really push the limits.
        The Hobbit is a very male-oriented book/film, and I think the introduction of too many women would be artificial. The Yaoi type fanfics are new to me, but I think authors tie them in nicely with the Hobbit plot, so I’m not sure about throwing in a lusty wench or two with plump thighs and all that 🙂

  6. Pingback: Legenda 62: Stuff worth reading « Me + Richard Armitage

    (Short response. Got to get back to my reading, don’t you know. 😉 )

  8. Pingback: Armitage nepotist: The afternoon transcripts | Me + Richard Armitage

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