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Yup, it’s official! I can’t write a post that doesn’t at least mention Richard Armitage…

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Be warned, this post is littered with RA pun pics I never got around to posting for Valentine’s Day.

They truly are not funny, a much too punny.

My only excuse? He made me do it!

:ucas North Spooks car rev my engine

Thank You to all you for your faboosh pics!

I could literally create the perfect Armitage Admirer, a Frankentige, if you will :)

I still need more of your face/body parts for my FanstRA4

Keep them coming!

Someone (I call her Miss DoubleS as in super smart for coming up with it…) sent the pics directly from PicMonkey, doing so anonymously, so remember you have the option to ‘share’.

Harry viacr of dibley richard armitage books

I spent the last weekend at the cinema, trying to catch up on all those interesting Oscar films I’ve had to ignore during my exam season.

It was a mixed bag really, and none of the films really knocked my socks (or any other part of my clothing) off.

Time for an  incy wincy confession- as I mentioned before, I absolutely love those few seconds right before the movie or play starts, when the lights go off and you’re waiting for things to start.

Each time it happened I was more than a little disappointed I wasn’t seeing The Hobbit.

Thorin Air New Zealand The hobbit aeroplane

Yup, I think I’ve finally flipped.

Reading dwarf porn and such didn’t convince me, but this has.

But I’ve not completely gone over to the dark side as I still refuse to watch it dubbed.

No, I tell you! Never!

Lucas North spooks Richard Armitage coffee

Anyway, one of the movies we watched was the Kathryn Bigelow film Zero Dark Thirty.

I’m not going into details and I shan’t be reviewing it as I hardly think I’m objective as a student of American Culture, and have a somewhat warped insider/outsider perspective.

The reason I mention it though is because this happened:

The scene shows waterboarding.

I lean over to my BFF Max and whisper:

Me: That looks hellish. Do you know Richard had to film waterboarding twice and it was a horrid experience for him cos as a child he fell into a pond while strapped in a stroller and the experience scarred him for life and he hates water now, but even for Captain America he had to sit in this weird submarine capsule and then they had water pouring into it… poor Richard…. *catching my breath*

Max: Usually grandmothers tell their grandchildren anecdotes about their own life.

You’re gonna be telling them stories about Richard Armitage’s life…

Touché, my dear friend…

And I’ll provide plenty of pictures so my grandkids can see what a real man looked like back in the day…

Lucas North spooks Richard Armitage bum jeans

On top of that, all that sexy commando crap featured in the movie has got me yearning for Porter, so I may have to pull out my combat pants and sexy scarves and give dear John Six-pack a visit soon.

Yes, it’s been a little Armitage crazy around here of almost no fault of my own, and that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

Armitage obsession is an involuntary condition, something you contract, much like the flu.

John Thornton North and south tea cup

Unlike the flu though, some milk and honey and garlic won’t make it all better (unless you think of a VERY creative way of using it… OK, nevermind…).

Then you also need the support of your loved ones to either help you quit altogether or make you as comfortable in your condition as possible.

My sister decided she needed some cheesy viewing and we are rewatching Robin Hood.

Salt, wound, leather, Gizzy…

Can you blame a girl for not being able to come up with a good non-RA post?

Monet Richard Armitage the impressionists

As I suffer my condition, I shall not suffer it in silence (I really can’t do anything in silence…).
So what almost everything reminds me of either Richard, a part he’s played, something I saw/read on tumblr or a fanfic?

Who said that’s not an appropriate way to view the world, filtered through the beauty that is Armitage?

Don’t answer those questions, don’t ever answer them!

If this is wrong, looking at RA, how can a girl ever want to be right?

(again, rhetorical question, no need to answer…).

And that’s what I’m going to be telling my grandbabies :)

Taking Fashion Tips from Guy of Gisborne

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I came across the following image at Debbie Does Doodle and it immediately made me think that it’s focusing on the wrong character from the Robin Hood story :)

Here’s the styling, which really embodied Robin, but interprets it in a way that any woman would feel feminine and sexy.

Gone are the green tights and dodgy hat.

I especially like the arrow earrings and gold leaf bracelets.

I though about how to reinterpreted the style of our Sherwood sweetheart Guy of Gisborne, and perhaps it could serve as inspiration for a mild version of a Grizzly Gizzy Halloween costume, or a least a themed outfit that nods towards him.

I see plenty of leather, beautiful boots, an interesting studded trench and some green velvet, here present in the form of a clutch bag.

The thighs are on full display and the shoulders are bold.

What’s missing?

I doubt any modern woman could afford to be tied up quite as often as Guy seems to be!

Let’s leave the rope at home!

I’m especially excited about the black pearl Ciate nail varnish.

I’m actually going to get my hands on it today and I’m still not sure if I love it of find it really weird.

Because I’ve been eating very healthy, my nails are very long and strong, so I may end up looking like I was given a manicure by Morticia Addams.

I’ll keep you posted :)

Have a wonderful Gizzy Day, take some fashion tips from him and strut like you won’t fit in the door frame!

If Sheriff Vasey was high in Nottingham, that would explain a thing or two…

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I was meaning to write about this story over a month ago, but it got side-tracked.

It seems that Keith Allen, who is constantly described by British tabloids as ‘Lily’s Dad’, will be taking a cocktail of Class A drugs on British  TV.

Allen, who has a history of drug use, will be under strict doctor supervision.

This will be part of Channel 4’s Drugs Live, a program, which will be screened in the Autumn, that will examine the effects drugs like cocaine, marijuana and ecstasy have.

You can read more about it here.

I really don’t have an opinion regarding the program, and will reserve judgment until it airs, although it does seem like a very controversial idea, and no doubt will bring in plenty of viewers.

In a world where having sex live on Big Brother, and selling booze at petrol stations, is apparently OK, some may regard this next step as natural.

It did however get me thinking of Sheriff Vasey.

Talk about mood swings!

I wonder if Allen drew upon his experiences to add that note of drug-infused madness to the character.

An addiction to some mood-altering substance could explain his volatile behavior, controversial ideas, and why he was so prone to violence.

There’s a twinkle of madness in Vasey’s eyes.

Of course, his temperament, and horrible behaviour towards Guy of Gisborne, could simply be the result of a thoroughly nasty character.
Maybe the sheriff’s simply high on life, and drunk on power!

On standing next to Richard Armitage

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Yesterday I rewatched Vicar of Dibley, with the lovely Harry Kennedy *collective swoon*.

There was one thought nagging at me.

When Harry was strolling hand in hand with Rosie, I could help wonder height-wise, how I’d fare next to Richard.

According to IMDB Keeley Hawes, who plays Harry’s sister Rosie, is 5′ 10″ (1.78 m).

Remember that this is info from IMDB, so you need to give or take 0,5 inch :)

Anyway, that would make her more or less my height.

I think I’d look good standing next to Richard!

That’s quite a nice fit :)

A few centimetres shorter is Hermione Norris who plays Ros Myers 5′ 7″ (1.70 m)

I’ve always like the chemistry between these two.

I think they had a great working relationship because each knew they could kick the others butt!

Then there’s Marian, played by Lucy Griffiths, who is 5′ 6″ (1.68 m)

Daniela Denby-Ashe, N&S’s Margaret Hale is 5′ 4″ (1.63 m)

Dawn French, who plays Vicar Gerry, is the shortest from RA’s leading ladies, at just 5′ (1.52 m)

By the way, I think Dawn had to stand on a rather large box to balance out this promo image.

The things we do to snuggle up to a tall dark handsome man!

Images: RANet

So, which leading lady is closest to you in height?

Would Richard have to bow down to plant a kiss on your lips?

The Warrior and his Sword

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Thorin’s got one

Uhtred’s got one

Even temperamental Guy’s got one.

And I endeavour to examine why all the hard boys seem to be so attached to it.

The truth is, the closer we get to the Hobbit premier, and to seeing 3D Thorin, the worse my ‘his sword is his p*nis’ jokes will be.

I’ve already noticed it’s happening, so I decided to get it out of my system, as much as possible, and hope  I grow tired of the topic…

Freud believed the mighty sword that appears in our dreams is a phallic symbol.

The sword shares many similarities to the male organ as well as masculinity and all its manifestations.

 It is long and straight and directly related to its wielder’s sense of power.

The word power is key, as it’s attached to reputation, wealth, and position in society.

Freud isn’t the only one who recognized male gender issues in sword symbolism.

Excalibur is meant to represent the male principles and its insertion into the stone – the stone being symbolic of the female principle.

Both dwarf and Saxon took great ride in their weapons, polishing them and giving them a rub down with a whetstone.

A female would count herself lucky if she got such tender love and care from her man.

It would seem women are expendable, a good sword is not.

It’s not all bad news.

A Sword as a phallic symbol has a female element.

There’s the sheath in which the sword is housed is considered the feminine principle.

Luckily nowadays, men don’t run around with weapons, therefore something else must have taken over the phallic symbol.

I dismiss guns, as in most (I hope) parts of the world, men don’t carry firearms.

There are still those who have a vast collection of light sabers, but now it’s more a symbol of being immature and a bit daft.

If you or your man has one, I didn’t mean you.

You’re super cool ;)

What do you think is the modern-day phallic symbol, the one that embodies masculinity?

What do men posses that gives them a testosterone rush when they feel a little…errr… flat?

I’m going with cars.

Does a car really need to be washed and polished every other week?

Thorin’s sword is called Orcist, Uhtred has Serpent-Breath.

My question is, did we ever learn the name of Guy’s sword?

Was there just one he was particularly attached to?

One he would grasp firmly, polish regularly?

He’d hold it and all the village wenches would whisper: My, what a big sword you have there!

Knowing his luck, Marian would have just stolen his beloved weapon and given it to Robin.

I’m also questioning Gizzy’s love for the noose.

If we treat that as a phallic symbol, what does that say about Gisborne as a man?

A shudder to think!

Mr Bad Guy, and other nasty Armitage characters

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I’m extremely exited as I’ve just given my Armitage Birthday Celebration the green light.

It’s going to take a lot of time and organisation, but I hope it will be fun for the RA fans.

I’m not going to tell you what it is, but I am going to hint.

My first hint is this: I’m collaborating with Seba, from GisbornesBoy :)

Not saying anything else for now, but I urge you to make sure you pop back here in the second week of August.

So excited!

Anyway, this project has me sifting through Armitage characters, and I was wondering this:

What is the worst thing an Armitage character has done?

Does remorse and hope for redemption lessen the crime?

Is a crime of passion easier to forgive than a calculated one?

Which would you choose?

Is it Heinz Kruger’s Big Boom?

Is it Guy’s misguided attempt to win the heart of the woman he loves by putting a sword through it?

How about Mulligan making sure his girlfriend didn’t travel light?

Ricky Deeming?

BTS Lee, for those socks in bed?

Percy and his orgy-loving ways?

There are so many Armitage baddies, and we love each and every one of them!

But which is the biggest villain, the lousiest scoundrel?

The Armitage Runner’s Bum

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Truly a post I can sink my teeth into :)

I have written about the Armitage Runner’s Body in a previous post, although the lack of any concrete information on the topic makes me think it was more of an excuse to rant about the man’s exterior.

Now I’ve left the best for last.

Strong thighs and good abdominal muscles are essential if you want to run a little better than an enthusiastic 5-year-old.

There’s no doubt RA has a shapely gluteus maximus- the largest and most superficial among the three gluteal muscles.

It is the primary contributor to the shape of the buttocks, and gives him a bum you could bounce coins off.

The primary purpose of this muscle is to maintain the erect position — of the trunk of the body (get your mind out of the gutter, please…).

Perhaps Richard has, at one time or another, experience a real ‘pain in the butt’ (and I’m not talking about the crazy fangirls…).

Muscle strains may occur in a variety of muscles causing butt pain in hamstrings, gluteal muscles, adductors (muscles bringing legs together), abductors (muscles bringing legs apart), or hip rotators, etc. as the good Doctor McLaughlin states.

Let’s hope Richard has a good masseur who can massage the pains away ;)

EDIT:

Changes suggested by Kathrynruthd  :)

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