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Happy Sherlock Day! Now give me some smutty M/M fanfics to make it all better…

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The post title refers to it being 02/21/13 (as written in the US) today, meaning 221 13 (B) meaning the house number of Sherlock’s residence on Baker St.

Most people don’t know that I’m actually quite a potty mouth in RL, but I don’t really feel like going back and deleting.

Not today anyway…

keep-calm-and-read-smut-8

It never ceases to amaze me, at the same time freaking me the fuck out, how life, and the way you look at it, can change in a matter of minutes.

Things are definitely pants right now and I’m still figuring out how to cope with certain situations.

I know some of my fellow RA blogger find comfort in writing posts, either as a way of escaping RL crap, or as a means of actually understanding the whirlwind events in life.

I’m not sure I’m able to do that (or maybe not just right now…), not because I don’t believe that I would find comfort in my online friends or doubt the sincerity of their words and wishes.

It’s just that I have a very hands-on approach to any crises situation, not allowing myself a moment of weakness.

OK, I did totally lose my shit when I called my BFF to tell him what was going on, probably freaking him out as I doubt he’d ever witnessed me crying during our 12+ year friendship…

When you insist on being strong for everyone else, there comes a moment when you have to react, and passivity is my way out.

Tumblr is perfect for that, impersonal, somewhat smutty, not too challenging.

Escapism at it’s best.

It’s not so much the need to run away, at least for some time, but what I find most soothing, that has raised my internal eyebrows (whatever the fuck internal eyebrows are…).

You’d think I would retreat to RA, his characters, The Hobbit, Aidan Turner, or something down those lines.

I really can’t explain my sudden interest BBC’s Sherlock.

I think it was spurred on by a Hobbit/Sherlock crossover fanfic I had encountered, but not bothered to read.

I’d seen the series a while ago and absolutely adored the modern take on my beloved Doyle stories, not to mention how lovable I found Benedict Cumberbatch’s Sherlock and Martin Freeman’s Watson.

It’s not the series itself, however, that seems to capture my interest.

I’m so much more interested in Johnlock (a combination of John and Sherlock).

Now, I blame Durincest and Bagginshield for my sudden interest in: fanfiction in general,  M/M character pairing specifically, usually of explicit nature, but I’ll go for some angst every so often.

Damn you: Peter Jackson, Hot Dwarf Armitage and Hot Dwarf nephews, and especially talented smutty fanfic authors who know no boundaries!

What can I say?

There’s nothing like a character played by Martin Freeman finding himself utterly wrecked by another male character to brighten up an altogether grim day.

For the record, as much as I like Freeman as an actor with his wicked sense of humour, and he’s appeared in some of my favorite TV series (UK The Office) or films (The Hobbit), I’ve never really found him attractive as a man.

So how does he end up popping up in my favorite fanfics, usually in some compromising position (and I AM smiling and smirking as I type this…)?

Anyway, the first Johnlock fanfic I’d read, and one that I’m afraid has ultimately spoilt me for all others,  is A Cure For Boredom written by emmagrant01.

Just so we’re clear, this is definitely explicit and covers a range of topics of a sexual nature that some may find disturbing, but I found wonderfully distracting.

Just when the author deserved an online hug from me for perfectly capturing the characters of Sherlock and John while still managing to place them in the smuttiest (and sluttiest) of circumstances, it turned out she’d also written Alternate and Missing Scenes from “A Cure for Boredom”.

These extra chapters are mostly written from Sherlock’s perspective and it was just what I needed to find today.

Oh, it was like finding a banknote stuffed in the pocket of an old jacket when you thought you were skint.

“I was Wats-off, but then you turned me Wats-on.”

My delightfully weird escape, which I can’t explain, even if I tried.

BTW, the way I’m feeling now, I’d sacrifice Martin flying all the way to New Zealand to continue filming The Hobbit just to have him stay in London to film season 3 of Sherlock and provide a new fix.

That should tell you something about where I’m at at the moment.

I’d still love for Richard Armitage to make an appearance in the BBC series though, so maybe I’m not a hopeless cause…

Thorin’s Majestic Dear Diary Rec

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Thorin Oakenshield The Hobbit Dear Diary Majestic

It’s the bad blogger (who’s doing her best) here!

Ya know, the one who either doesn’t post or posts fillers, and wouldn’t you know it, I have a bit of a filler for you today (again), but this one is Oh! so good.

As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve been enjoying Hobbit related fanfiction, and today I’d like to share the single funniest one EVER!

Thorin Oakenshield’s Majestic Diary ,written by had me laughing out loud!

Just imagine the majestic king writing a diary that Bridget Jones would be proud of, determined NOT to fancy the Hobbit burglar, and trying to tolerate his idiot nephews.

And Gandalf?

He’s an: “intimidatingly powerful wizard as well as a weed-smoking tree-hugger who deals in illegal fireworks”.

This really is very funny and I hope it brightens up your Saturday :)

Thorin Richard Armitage glasses

Have a wonderful weekend!

On growing a pair and listing some smutty fanfic just cos…

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As you know, I’ve been spending too much lots of time on Tumblr.

One of my favorite things to do is go through the fanfic published there, and I know I’m not the only one (high-five to my smutty friends…).

I had been meaning to write a post on different variations of The Hobbit fanfic, but truth be told, it’s not for the fainthearted and I couldn’t be bothered to deal with stuff.

I’m very happy that Jas decided to post her favorite Aidean, Bagginshield, and Durincest stories, risking getting an earful from one or two  high and mighty readers expressing their dissatisfaction, who will inevitably stop by.

I cowered away from posting my own list, feeling like I really didn’t want to rock the proverbial boat.

So, in essence, I’ve tried to support any fellow blogger whose freedom of expression was questioned, but I shied away from posting what I really wanted out of fear of having to deal with some people.

Time to right this wrong and grow a pair!

Here’s the place where I give you fair warning.

The themes of the stories may be disturbing to some.

These are erotic stories, real people fics, slash and general NSFW and smut galore!

If any of these things don’t appeal to you, please go on your merry way and I hope to see you back here some other time :)

Please PLEASE don’t leave comments about how you disapprove of these sorts of things as you got plenty of warning beforehand!

Firstly, remember that you can track the different tags on Tumblr:

Aidean

Bagginshield

Durincest

Here’s a list of different fanfics that have caught my eye.

I don’t really have the habit of saving things on my computer, so it’s hard to say if these are the best of the bunch.

I have added a link to the authors, so you can check out other stories of authors who have caught your eye.

Please feel free to add links to other fanfics that you’d like to share :)

My choices are a bit heavy on Kili + Fili for obvious reasons, so I tried to get a bit of Thorin in there too, just to balance things out.

I’m not going to categorise the fanfic and pass judgment as to how smutty they may be, some are PG-13 fluff, others are right down dirty, so just assume you’re clicking on filth most of the time :)

image

Durincest fic:

 To Love Only Once

Author: shinigami714

Dwarves only love once, and Fili and Kili discover they are meant for each other. But still they are brothers, and struggle with that knowledge. Getting intimate is…difficult to say the least. Fili/Kili, incest, sex.

Even in Death

Author: shinigami714

Fili and Kili survive the final battle and look forward to spending their lives together. However Thorin and Dis have other plans for the two brothers, and they do not take the news well. Fili/Kili, angst, incest, character deaths.

Squared

Author: sospes

It’s Fili’s birthday and thanks to Radagast’s tricks he gets double of what he wants most.

Spun Gold

Author:

Part 1 of The Bath Time Tales, Kili + Fili

Carved Ebony

Author:

Part 2 of The Bath Time Tales, Kili + Fili

Kisses for Braids

Author:

Fili messes his hair up on purpose so he can have Kili fix it for him.

A Really Unexpected Journey

Author:

Kili + Fili + Thorin. Nuff said…

Marked by Fate

Author:

Kíli comes of age, and is difficult about the whole thing.

Brothers Be

Author: shinigami714

Fili and Kili hate each other with a passion and fight constantly as a result. Thorin, annoyed at their stupidity sends the brothers on a task with the hope that they will solve their issues.

Muffled

Author:

Kili + Fili  and how do you miss a group of trolls stroll on by and take a couple of horses?

Chocolate (aka BOOM Threesome)

Author:

The Rivendell elves, either because they are dicks or because they don’t know any better, give the dwarves provisions for their trip which include chocolate. Chocolate is an aphrodisiac to dwarves, but since it’s so scarce not many dwarves are aware of this fact. Fili and Kili, the two youngest and most inexperienced dwarves, think nothing of eating the chocolate and Thorin is the one who gets to deal with the repercussions.

The World is Ahead (But Tonight We Rest)

Author:

The Dwarves settle in for the night at Bag End. In which Thorin is long suffering, Kili is a devious brat and Fili isn’t quite sure why he puts up with him.

Waterfall

Author: Theresa

Fili and Kili wash themselves as Thorin walks in  on them…

When Three is Company

Author:

Bilbo settles into a strange new routine with Fili and Kili, but finds himself dwelling on the younger’s comments at the springs…

Thorin:

A Princely Reward Part 1: Thorin/Dwarf who found the Arkenstone

Author: wicked_thorin

King Thror, as in gratitude, let’s the dwarf who found the Arkenstone name his price.
He choses a night in bed with the dwarven prince.

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Bagginshield:

Your Name Like Ink on my Skin

Author:

While Thorin has a tea cup and a tiny, beautiful B on his wrist (that he keeps covered at all times), Bilbo’s wrist is completely unmarked. This causes tension and misunderstanding until Thorin catches Bilbo with his back unclothed.

Punishment (aka BILBO GETS KINKY)

Author:

Bilbo lips off, and Thorin has to punish him…

A Hobbit’s Business

Author:

In Rivendell, Bilbo Baggins receives a golden necklace from a certain dwarf, thus causing him to learn much more about dwarven courtship than he’s ever bargained for. And as they soon realize, curiosity and worse has taken both sides, thus changing the very fabrics of their journey.

Recovery, Redemption and Romance

Author:

When Thorin is injured in the Battle of the Five Armies, Bilbo surprises everyone with his healing abilities.
Then as Erebor starts to rebuild he continues to surprise people with his knowledge and skills. On top of everything else that is occurring there is a dwarf king and a hobbit who might be trying to court one another without the other knowing – while their companions are either helpful or confusingly gleeful.

RPF (Real life fiction):

Smart in a Stupid Way

A PG-13 Richard Armitage + Lee Pace fic.

Please add links to other fanfics you enjoyed in comments :)

Click on images to be directed to the source.

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